Here with the golden sand (and you) - blooming_camelia (2024)

Chapter Text

Seongmin woke up because of the sun shining through his still broken window instead of the usual tourists. His pillow wasn't drenched as much as a few days ago, and the air in his room was hot but bearable. August was almost over, temperatures were slowly getting lower.

He didn't move out of his bed. He didn't have anyone to see. Taeyoung’s train was scheduled to leave in less than an hour. He wanted to cry, or fall back asleep until next summer.

So, he stayed with his head against his pillow, even if he probably should at least drink some water.

He only moved when his phone vibrated, reverberating through all his bed because of its place by the pillow. Seongmin painfully opened an eye to see who could be interrupting his perfect bed rotting— Kim Taeyoung. Only guy who still used Snapchat as his main way of communication.

It was a picture of only the top of his face, distress visible in his eyes. “There’s a kid with greasy grabby hands beside me :(“, the gray band on the picture read. Seongmin snorted.

“Sucks to be you”, he replied. “Did the train start yet ?”

“Nope, it's running late, the dude in the speaker said we’ll go in fifteen or so”

Seongmin felt a rush of adrenaline. Fifteen minutes— if he rushed, he could make it. If he got off his bed right this instant, didn't tie his lace and ran fast enough, he could say bye to Taeyoung through the window. Maybe even kiss him for real, or just hold his hand one last time.

His bedside clock ticked. He didn't move. The idea of actually seeing Taeyoung leave was too overwhelming. Seongmin wanted his last memory of Taeyoung to be a happy one, not one filled with helplessness. So he closed his phone, put it aside, and put his head back in his pillow.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Seongmin counted each noise of the clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Even if he ran all he could, he could never catch the train. But maybe he could see it before it disappeared ?

Tick. Tick. Tick. A vibration.

Taeyoung said the train just started. It was too late to do anything, he was going back to uni and summer was over for good.

Seongmin wanted to cry, again. But he didn't, instead letting his brain go completely numb for a few hours, rolled up in his bed.

He only got up hours later, his head hurting from dehydration. In his phone stood a notification— an unopened snap. Taeyoung probably sent him a “home” text.

Seongmin didn't want to see it. Home was supposed to be beside him. Not in this shoebox that was Taeyoung's apartment. He sighed, drank a bit of water while looking through the kitchen’s door’s window. The sun was already on its way to the ocean— it was getting late. Seongmin definitely didn't do anything of his day.

He was surprised that his brother didn't do anything to get him out of bed. But it was a welcomed gesture. Seongmin just needed some time to go back to normal, to act like this entire summer was only a dream.

He went back to bed after putting his glass in the sink. Looking at the still broken window, at his ruined IVE poster he didn't throw out but let hang pitifully on the wall, at the ceiling above his bed, he wondered if he should just block Taeyoung again. Being in love was so nice with Taeyoung by his side, laughing and holding hands and kissing (kind of). But now it hurt and burnt and made him feel like his heart had been ripped out his chest.

It wasn't fair. Why did Taeyoung go away with a smile while Seongmin was still here, feeling like his whole world had been stolen and replace by a gray version of it, all alone and—

His phone vibrated. Seongmin groaned, frustrated, now wasn't the time to call him! He was having his dramatic moment! He looked at the screen, ready to curse to whoever interrupted his moment.

Discord notification. Taeyoung's profile picture was of an anime, a guy with pink hair and a weird scarf. It was 9:08pm. Their agreed time to call each other.

Seongmin almost fell over his bed to get his earphones from his bedside table.

“Sound check.” Taeyoung’s voice echoed directly in Seongmin's ears.

“I hear you just right. You ?”

“Perfect. You know my roommate was at his boyfriend’s for the holidays right ? He comes back tomorrow, but we went away the same day. Just found out we both forgot to take our leftovers off the fridge so there’s like, an entire ecosystem growing in it. Like, I think it’s gonna start The Last Of Us IRL.”

Taeyoung just acted like it was nothing. Like they weren't kilometers apart, like he didn't kiss him the day before, like they didn't spend weeks kind of dating.

Seongmin liked it. He could act like nothing happened too. It was probably better than hoping for more. More of what, he didn't know. More contact. More time together. More.

“Disgusting.” He replied after a beat. “What are you gonna do about that ? You can't let it rot anymore.”

“I’m gonna buy a new fridge, duh. This one will never be opened ever again.”

“Do you even have the money to buy a full on fridge ?”

“Nope. Maybe I can sell feet pics to get some, though.”

“Your feet are literally the ugliest I've ever seen.”

“Now why were you looking at my feet ? And what do you know about feet anyway ?”

“How do you think I got so many IVE albums ?”

They could do it. Seongmin could survive this whole thing. He could— he could stay happy. With Taeyoung just a phonecall away, and all his friends— he could do it. He would try, anyway.

🌤️

When he woke up the next day, he got dressed and replied to all his texts while eating breakfast. The group chat was busy ; Hyeongjun sent a video of his dancing, Minhee a screenshot of the mail confirming his internship. Wonjin persuaded everyone to start using BeReal seriously again.

Seongmin opened his sketchbook at his desk and drew a bit, doodles of little nothings that made him happy. Around noon, he put on some makeup and went on a walk along the beach. He spent his afternoon outside, enjoying the sun on his skin. When he got back inside, he made himself a bracelet while listening to some music. He ate dinner with his parents.

At 9, he called Taeyoung.

“Soundcheck.”

“It’s working. You ?”

“I hear your annoying voice perfectly. I wanna continue our drama tonight, so get ready quickly, I'm setting up the thing so we can watch together.”

“Sure, let’s go. Just gonna pee real quick.”

“Ew.”

Everything would be fine.

🌤️

Seongmin kept up the rhythm for days. Waking up, texting, drawing, painting, going on walks, making jewelry, discord with Taeyoung until they were both yawning too much to continue. His BeReals were mostly of the sea or his desk, and he made sure to always have cute hairstyles or makeup for his front camera.

By the end of the week, he had mailed a bracelet to all his friends (Jungmo and Serim included!) and all the poor artworks he lost during the hurricane had been replaced by aquarelles he even laminated to be sure it wouldn't happen again.

And then—

Uni started again. He had to get up earlier and couldn't text as much because of his schedule. It wasn't that bad, though. The groupchat was still flourishing; walls and walls of texts and GIFs and memes and a whole lot of clowning Wonjin because he was supposed to take this semester seriously but it took him three days to get sh*t faced at a party and confess all his love for the world on twitter.

“Soundcheck.”

“Hear you well. You ?”

“Perfect. Seongmin, you're a little bitch you know ?”

Seongmin chuckled at Taeyoung's words. He could hear playfulness in his friend's voice, meaning it couldn't be anything too serious.

“Yes ? Why, though, I didn't send the pic you sent on snap to the guys yet.”

“Why would you send them that pic— anyways ! I got back in the pool today. You put your name on my shoulder, little bastard! The guys couldn't stop laughing at my stupid tan, seriously, hearts, stars and a name, are you insane ?”

Seongmin burst out laughing— he had almost forgotten the tan marks he left everywhere on Taeyoung's back.

“Stop laughing, one of the guys took a pic and even my coach laughed !”

Obviously, Seongmin laughed even more.

“I hate you, Seongminie, you’re the worst.”

“I’ll act like I believe you, I guess.”

⛅

Seongmin had to wear a jacket in the morning now. His BeReals were starting to lose their charms; he didn't have time to put on makeup anymore and the school air™ made his hair flat even if he tried his best to style it.

But he could do it. No amount of boring homeworks could stop him from painting or drawing or making jewelry. He promised Taeyoung.

“Soundcheck.”

“Perfect by me. You ?” Taeyoung’s side was loud. Seongmin cringed, his poor ear feeling attacked.

“Why’s your music so loud ?” he asked, whining.

“Whoops, sorry, gimme a sec.” Taeyoung muted his mic for a bit, coming back after a few seconds without any background music this time. “Better ?”

“Yeah, what was that ? I almost went deaf, you know ?”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m at a party with the sports kids, I didn't see the time so your call took me by surprise.”

“A party ? You should've told me the call was canceled today.” Seongmin didn't like this sensation. He felt like he just interrupted Taeyoung in something that was way more important than a stupid call. Obviously he would be at a party, no normal uni student should be expected to be home a Friday night, even less ready to watch a stupid drama—

“It’s not, though. I don't have my laptop so I can't watch the drama with you, but we can talk about something else ! How was your day ?”

“Are you sure ? You should go back with your friends or somethi—”

“Seongmin, I told you. Every night, 9 o'clock.” Taeyoung’s voice was tender. Like he knew what was going through Seongmin's head. He probably did.

“Yeah. Okay. My day was— normal.”

“Seongmin, your BeReal had a pic of your school being invaded by seagulls, that's not what I call normal.”

“Okay so, I told you about this guy obsessed with fishes right ? Well, he has a friend and—”

Taeyoung listened to all his words until he was called back inside, almost an hour later.

Everything would be fine.

☁️

“Soundcheck.”

“Good. You hear me ?”

“Yep. Did you see Hyeongjun's team’s dance video ? No wonder they won first place for this round !”

“I know right ? But I already can't stand Minhee and his gushing anymore, seriously, he’s too much of a simp.”

“He’s so in love it’s disgusting. But I'm also super proud of Hyeongjunie so I kind of understand. I mean, if you were to, I don't know, win first place in an art contest or something, I'd gush about it too !”

“Are you in love with me or something ?” Seongmin joked, even though the thought of it made his stomach twist weirdly. They weren't supposed to talk about that. It had been weeks, months even since that kiss, but they just acted like it didn't happen.

“I don't know, am I ?” Taeyoung was teasing too.

“Cringe. I hate you, bye.” Seongmin hung up, red creeping up his cheeks.

Taeyoung called back after a minute, and they didn't talk about it anymore. Everything was fine.

☁️

With the gray weather came the gray mood. Seongmin found smiling more and more exhausting. But he still tried. He promised he’d try.

When a character in their drama died, Seongmin cried so hard they had to take a break from it for the rest of the week.

“Soundcheck.”

“I hear you. Your side ?

“Perfect.”

“It’s been a while since you sent me pictures of jewelry.”

Seongmin looked at his pearl box, closed, drowning under university papers. It made him sigh.

“Don't have time to do it anymore, sadly. You know how it is, profs are already talking about exams.”

Taeyoung made a noise, something Seongmin didn't know how to interpret.

“Yeah, I see. You’re okay, right ?”

“Yeah, yeah. Don't worry. I’m still drawing and sh*ts, it’s okay. How was training today ?”

“Good. We’re preparing for the competition, you know the drill.”

🌧️

Seongmin honestly didn't understand why he felt so.. gray. Maybe it was the waves and the never ending wind of seaside autumn. Maybe it was his friend’s BeReals that were all so colorful compared to his dull ones. Maybe it was because he so dearly missed seeing his friends face to face instead of through a screen.

Maybe it was because calls with Taeyoung were shorter and shorter every time, because they were both drowning under work.

Maybe it was that he was bored out of his mind most of the time, because he still hated what he was doing at school.

He was trying his best, really. He knew it was getting bad, was doing his best to avoid it— but the grayness of a lonely world was only avoidable for a bit, and he knew it would reach him one day or another.

“Soundcheck.”

“Good. You ?”

“Good. It’s been two weeks since you painted.”

“Don't have time to clean the mess it makes, but I'm still drawing, don't worry about me. How are the preparations for the competition ? Is it as stressful as Hyeongjun’s ?”

“My coach is on our back because we’re all ignoring our homeworks to swim, but otherwise it’s cool. Nobody can be as stressed as Hyeongjun, but I'm not relaxed either. Do you want to start a new drama, since we finished the other one ?”

“No, thank you, I'm not feeling like watching anything. I’m actually going to go to sleep, I'm tired as hell, have a good night Youngtae.”

🌧️

“Soundcheck.”

“Seongmin, you didn't answer to anyone's texts today, Woobin freaked out.”

“Homeworks and revisions got me. I just called so you wouldn't be worried. Tell Jjunie I'm proud of him for getting into the finale, I'm going to sleep now.”

“Seongmin—”

“I’m really okay. Today was just a lot. Bye, let’s talk more tomorrow yeah ?”

🌧️

Winter. Rain and rain and rain and maybe some snow. Hurricanes and storms spent at Wonjin’s parent’s house.

Seongmin didn't know time could pass so quickly but still feel so long. Hyeongjun sent him a ticket for the dance competition’s finale, which would take place after their exams in February.

His mood affected his entire household: his little brother spent less and less time inside, while his parents tried their best to stay home more and more.

Seongmin knew it was getting bad again. Like last year, and the one before that— he wondered if he was a flower, withering when the sun wasn't out anymore. Wonjin tried his best to text him. Woobin sent him a care package with snacks and recipes and comforting words.

“Soundcheck.”

“Seongmin, are you even trying to be happy anymore ?”

It came out of the blue, on a random Tuesday, two weeks before Christmas break.

“What are you saying, obviously I am.”

“Are you really ?”

“Taeyoung, I— I’m trying. I’m trying but I'm failing miserably.”

A silence. Seongmin wasn't happy and everyone knew it but no one could do anything because of tons of circ*mstances: distance, classes, work. Seongmin wasn’t happy and it was a scary thing to admit. Seongmin wasn't happy because he was heartbroken, the love of his life only reachable by phone but untouchable when he needed a hug the most.

“Seongmin, I don't know how to help you. I don't know this side of you and I don't know how to make it better.” Taeyoung sounded so sad. So helpless.

Seongmin felt guilty. Really guilty. “I’m sorry. It’s just like that, I guess I'm bad at being an adult. It’ll get better, just— I need time. If you can come again during summer, I'll be just perfect, the Seongmin you've always known !”

“Seongmin, I don't care about that. I don't care about how you’ll feel in July, I care about how you feel now. How do I help you now ?”

“I don't know. I wish I knew but I don't even know why I'm feeling like this. But— I promise I'm not that bad, okay ? It’s just a rough patch. And hearing your voice is already helping as much as it can.”

Taeyoung sighed on the other side of the phone.

“I’ll find something. Hang in there, okay ? Now, let’s start a new show to get our minds off of that.”

🌧️

It was raining when Seongmin heard the bell ring, so late into a Friday night. Taeyoung had, for some reason, canceled their 9 pm call, and it took a toll on him. Was it the end ? Was it where they stopped making efforts because it didn't work anymore ?

He wondered who could be here so late in the night. Maybe his parents’ friend, a neighbor needing something, anyone. He was already in bed, bundled up in tons of blankets because his window hadn't been repaired correctly and the cold slipped in without a care, and he didn't care enough to get up to know who this was.

But— the door to his door opened after a minute or two. And here, drenched, with swim goggles on his head and a beat up backpack hanging on his elbow, was Taeyoung.

“Soundcheck ?” Taeyoung had an unsure smile when he opened his mouth.

“Wha— Tae ? What— how— huh ?”

Seongmin didn't know how to process the full Taeyoung standing there. It didn't make sense! Christmas break wouldn't start for two weeks, and Taeyoung couldn't even come back because of his swimming training ! What was he doing here, so late in the evening?

“I couldn't leave you alone anymore. I’m here until Sunday night, you’ll have to make me some space in your bed.”

“But— swimming? The competition ?”

“Seongmin, I don't care about that when I know you’re here feeling like sh*t. My coach let me out weekend training as long as I catch up on my missed hours during the week. I can prepare for the competition later, you’re more important.”

Seongmin felt tears gather in his eyes. Taeyoung was here just for him.

“Did you really jump in a train, so late, just for me ?”

Taeyoung smiled so wide his fangs showed. “Yep ! Ran to the train stop right after training and making sure my coach wouldn't kill me, and bought the ticket while I was already sitting in it. I’m pretty sure I could've gotten in serious trouble because that’s kinda illegal, but heh, I'm here now.”

Seongmin kind of struggled to get off his cocoon of blankets, but as soon as he could put his feet on the ground, he jumped on his friend in a bone crushing hug, not caring about his pajamas getting wet.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” He whispered, some tears getting lost in Taeyoung's already drenched hoodie.

His friend put a hand on his head and another on his back, petting him there. “Anything for you, Seongminie. I’m happy to see you too.”

They stayed like that for a while, just basking into the other’s presence. Today Taeyoung smelt more like pool water than the sea, and it felt a bit weird, but it was still Taeyoung.

“Minie ?” Taeyoung asked after a while.

“Hmm ?”

“I’m cold as f*ck.”

It sent them into a giggling fit. Seongmin himself felt the cold through his slightly damp pajama, he couldn't even start to imagine how uncomfortable Taeyoung felt. “Sorry, sorry. Did you take any clothes with you ?”

“I have two underwear and my swimming supplies.”

“Okay, I’ll get you one of my oversized shirts. Pants might fit weird, but nobody asked you to have long legs so it’s your fault.”

“That’s such a long way of saying you’re short.”

“Go f*ck yourself.”

Taeyoung giggled again. Seongmin missed this.

He rummaged through his clothes to find some to give to Taeyoung, and then sent him to take a shower with a middle finger.

With his best friend in the bathroom, Seongmin took a look at his room to see how bad it was. The answer was : really bad. He couldn't even remember the last time he actually cleaned in there; there were clothes everywhere on the floor, school supplies, lots of paper balls and just… a mess. Maybe even a few empty snack packages.

He tried his best to get everything hidden under his bed, maybe fold a few clothes, and put back his school things on his desk, but Taeyoung got back before anything looked different.

“Don't worry about that,” he said with a smile, letting himself fall in Seongmin's bed like it was his own, “I'll help you clean tomorrow. Let’s go to sleep, I'm dead on my feet.”

“You should've given me heads up, it looks like a teenager’s room. And probably smells like it too.” Seongmin whined, but he still put the shirt he had in his hand onto his desk chair to go and fall beside Taeyoung.

“I don't care about that. Now, sleep.” Taeyoung started to arrange back the blankets for them to be covered comfortably.

Seongmin didn't really think about it, just pressing himself closer to Taeyoung. Was it to get more heat or just because he felt like he would die if they didn't cuddle, nobody would ever know.

“I’m happy you’re here.” He whispered to Taeyoung, because he was. He was happy and glad not to be alone anymore, and maybe his heart ached a little less with Taeyoung’s arms around him.

“I’m happy to be with you.” Taeyoung replied before kissing him on the side of his head, sweet and tender.

Seongmin fell asleep just as he fell in love for the millionth time.

☁️

Seongmin woke up to the sound of an alarm he didn't recognize. He was lost for a second, just the time to remember who was in his bed, their legs tangled, face to face on a single pillow even though he had at least three.

He smiled. It hadn't been a dream, Taeyoung really was here.

Then, he started to notice the noise again. A loud music and some vibration somewhere in the room, just loud enough to be annoying.

It made Taeyoung move. A few twitches of his eyes before a groan, and then the boy stretched like he was alone in the bed, hitting Seongmin square on the face. That made him turn towards Seongmin, opening one eye with a confused face.

Seongmin giggled as he watched his friend go from confused, to more confused, to a dumb smile.

“Hi you.” As always, Taeyoung's voice was raspy in the morning. As always, Seongmin would find it hot if it wasn't for the morning breath.

“Your alarm could wake an entire building.”

Taeyoung yawned, hiding his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sorry, sorry, forgot to turn it off.” He didn't even try to move to make it stop.

“You should, it's getting annoying.”

“I should, yeah.”

Not a move. It rang for a few moments— seconds or hours, Seongmin couldn't tell. Slowly waking up with Taeyoung in his bed messed up with his brain, it felt too surreal, too good to be true. It was like a ray of sunshine in the middle of a hurricane, when everything felt bad for hours and suddenly the sky cleared up to become blue again.

“Why do you even have an alarm so early in the morning on Saturdays ?”

“Gym, it’s the best hours when nobody’s here to see me struggling with cardio.”

Seongmin giggled. “Loser.”

“Hey, at least one of us is keeping in shape! I remember you being all out of breath after I chased you for like, two minutes max on the beach.”

“Best friend card revoked, get out of my bed.”

They fought for a moment, Seongmin trying to roll Taeyoung off the bed and Taeyoung trying not to fall— it resulted in both of them ending on the ground with loud cackles.

It’s Seongmin mom who stopped them from continuing on the ground, opening the door with a sleepy look and a mug in her hand. She looked at them for a second, probably trying to understand what was the big boom she most likely heard downstairs, and smiled when she saw their position.

“Well, I see you’re both awake.”

“Hi mom.”

“Good morning, miss Ahn.” They greeted, sheepish smiles on both their faces.

“You’re cute, I always found you like that after nap time when you were kids. Now if you want to get up, the coffee’s still hot and your dad went out to buy breakfast.”

“We’re coming !”

She closed the door with an amused giggle. Seongmin felt happier than he ever did these past months.

Breakfast was nice. They had croissants and some cakes, and Seongmin knew his parents went all out because they were happy to see him smile again. It was a bit of a bittersweet feeling : he hated just how bad it had gotten, how worried his parents must feel about him, but it was also nice to see them so happy right now.

“So, got any plans for the weekend ?” His dad asked as they were cleaning up the table. “I think your brother is going to his friend’s once he finally wakes up.”

“We're going to clean a bit and then if it’s not raining we’ll go on a walk.” It wasn't Seongmin who answered, but Taeyoung. “As for tomorrow, I'm putting us on bed rest just because I can.”

“Fabulous !” Seongmin’s mom responded. “Let us know if you need a car, we’ll give you the keys. You got your license, right ?”

“Yep, got it last month, but I still don't have my own car. But worry not, I use my roommate’s boyfriend’s to practice !”

“As long as you don't crash with our precious son in it, we believe in you. Now shoo, go do your things boys, we’ll clean up the rest.”

Seongmined loved his parents so much.

☁️

After getting dressed (sweatpants and hoodies, Taeyoung stealing one of Seongmin’s brother pair of pants because he didn't feel like wearing “what is basically leggings on me, Seongmin, you should put on some weight” ), Seongmin fetched a trash bag from the kitchen and it was time to clean up the mess.

“This one, is it dirty or clean enough to stay on the chair ?”

It was embarrassing. Seongmin’s cheeks were as red as strawberries, because he felt too overwhelmed to start anywhere so Taeyoung took the reigns and the answer to this question had been “dirty” for the past fifteen times and wow, he felt like a disgusting freak.

“Taeyoung, everything in this room is dirty, why do you even ask ?” He whined, hiding his face with his hands as Taeyoung dumped his shirt into the already full laundry basket.

“Not everything is dirty, stop being dramatic. It’s just a bit messy. This one ?”

Seongmin groaned. “It is dirty. Filthy, even. I don't know how I let it get this bad, you’re walking on chips crumbs.”

“Seongminie, it’s not your fault. You were depressed, it can happen to everyone, and I'm trying to help so don’t be embarrassed. If you want this to be over, then start to tidy your desk yeah ?”

“I’m not— I wasn't depressed, what are you saying ?”

Taeyoung looked at him with a look. A raised eyebrow, a vague gesture to the room and then Seongmin.

Seongmin felt a bit offended by this. He wasn't depressed ! Just a bit sad, and bored with life, and felt empty and numb for a bit and—

“Shoot. Is this what being depressed is ?”

“I’m not a therapist but I think so. Seongmin, it was really scary to see, you know ? The others told me you were like this last year and the one before too. I think it’s called seasonal depression or something like that.”

Seongmin didn't know how to answer. He basically knew what was seasonal depression — he was chronically on social media, after all — but he didn't think it could apply to him.

“I don't know. I think I'm just not good at being alone. This one is clean enough for the chair, I've only worn it for a day.”

Taeyoung shrugged, putting the hoodie on the chair. “Whatever this is, we’re all here for you, yeah ? I can come back more often, if you want me to. Or you could come to my apartment, but it’s a bit small. Jungmo has his own car and is rich enough to take a few days off to drive himself and Wonjin too.”

“Thank you. I don't know how to express how much it means.”

“Start by making your bed or something. And then fetch a broom, there's sh*t under the bed too.”

☁️

They spent a few hours cleaning, at some point putting on some music to make time go faster. It became a karaoke of some sort, alternating between girlgroup songs and whatever bisexual music Taeyoung was listening to, and it was nice. So nice.

Even the walk of shame to the laundry room with a pile his size of dirty clothes in the basket didn't feel that bad, thanks to Taeyoung and his stupid dances.

Seongmin didn't let himself think about the end of the weekend, forcing himself to stay in the present.

“Hey, Seongmin, pack your bag, we’re going to the beach.”

“Taeyoung, it’s freezing outside, are you actually crazy ?”

“Put on a beanie then ! It’s not raining, stop being a baby, I want to play in the sand. Also, you’re legally obligated to take your sketchbook with you and fill at least one page.”

Seongmin whined and complained, but he did pack a bag with his drawing supplies which had been a bit forgotten under tons of uni papers.

Then they dressed up to get out. Seongmin hid his body under layers and layers of clothes and forced a scarf around Taeyoung who tried to get out with only his jacket.

They went out by the front door, which was a bit dumb considering they had to go around the house to reach the beach and could've gotten there a bit faster if they used the kitchen door, but what was done was done.

They walked along the beach for a moment, gloved hands linked and hidden in Taeyoung's pocket. Seongmin felt his heart long for a life where this was the norm : with Taeyoung everyday, from morning to night, sometimes holding hands without even talking, just appreciating living in the same time space as the other.

Seongmin was in love. It was a fact. Taeyoung probably knew it. Taeyoung was probably in love too. But they wouldn't — couldn't — do anything about it because they both knew it would be impossible to be casual like this once the feeling trap was open.

So they didn't do, didn't say anything about it. But they talked about the serie they started watching, about their friends, about life. They didn't talk about the kiss. Seongmin wished Taeyoung would kiss him again, maybe this time he could react fast enough to kiss back.

They sat on the sand after a few laps on the beach, not caring about the humidity slowly slipping through their clothes. Seongmin got his sketchbook and pen out to start doodling whatever, trying to make his brain work enough to actually draw something, while Taeyoung started making things in the sand.

Just a look at his friend's face from the side made Seongmin start to seriously work, sketching the lines of who he considered the most handsome human on earth. It has been quite a while since Taeyoung had been his model, but the lines of his nose and his jaw weren't things he could forget— a bit like a bicycle, Seongmin’s muscles would always remember how to do it.

“Oooh, you love me so much.” Taeyoung co*ckily joked when he noticed he was being drawn.

“You wish. Stop moving, you’re making it difficult.”

“Give me paper and a pen, I want to draw too.”

Seongmin raised an eyebrow. “You draw now ?”

“A little bit. You look like you have fun when you do, I was curious.”

Seongmin smiled, tearing up a page of his sketchbook to hand it to Taeyoung, moving his pencil case so it rested between them. “Don't make me regret it, it's a fancy sketchbook, it makes me cringe to tear it up.”

“I bought this sketchbook, I deserve at least one page.”

“You gifted it to me, therefore it’s mine. Now go back to your position, I'm struggling with shadows.”

So, they spent some time drawing. Taeyoung looked a little dumb, using his legs to support his paper, but it was cute.

Some time later, both their phones vibrated at the same time— BeReal time.

On Seongmin's phone, they just used the front camera to make silly faces and the back one to show the sea. On Taeyoung's, the guy got up for Seongmin to take a pic mid cartwheel, and the front camera captured Seongmin's shocked face (he wasn't aware Taeyoung could actually do cartwheels!)

It’s what made Seongmin acknowledge just how much time had passed— the sun was already setting, meaning it had to be around five PM.

“We should get home, it's gonna be night soon.” He said, already starting to get everything back in his bag.

“Already ? I thought we’d have more time outside.”

“It’s going to be super cold soon, and I don't plan on getting sick.”

So, they got home. Taeyoung didn't let him see what he drew, folding the paper to hide it somewhere, and obviously Seongmin pouted at that.

☁️

“Hey, Seongmin,” Taeyoung started some time later. They were currently sprawled on the couch, watching whatever was playing on the TV. “Do you know if the arcade we used to go to is still open?”

“I think so, why ?”

“Let’s go. It’s open until late, right ? We can fetch food on the way. Your mom said I could use the car today.”

Seongmin took a moment to think about it : today had already been a lot. He cleaned his entire room, and then they spent so much time in the cold at the beach. He was already back in his pajama pants and a hoodie triple his size. But going out seemed fun.

“I don't know, I feel too lazy to put on real clothes back.” He replied with a pout.

“You can just go out in pajamas you know ? Nobody's gonna judge you. You can even take a blanket with you. And I'll pay for the food.”

“Mhm.. Okay. But you get in pajamas too, so I'm not alone.”

“I’m gonna change !”

Even if Seongmin was tired, the smile on Taeyoung's face was worth pushing his limits a little bit more.

They told Seongmin’s parents where they were going before jumping in the car. Seongmin took a blanket and even a pillow for the car ride (because the arcade was like, forty minutes away by car), and off they went.

A driving Taeyoung was a hot Taeyoung. Seongmin kind of went crazy for a minute, completely forgetting how to human, because his childhood best friend slash first and only love’s hand was on the steering wheel and he looked super confident for someone who only got is license last month and—

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Taeyoung's co*cky voice got him out of his head.

“I wasn't— you’re too full of yourself. I was… making sure you knew what you were doing !” He argued, staring straight ahead.

“Sure, sure.” Taeyoung chuckled. “So you totally heard me saying you should put some music on, right ?”

He didn't. “Obviously.” He replied anyway, not ready to admit just how down bad he was. “I hope you like IVE.”

“Do you ever listen to anything else ?”

“It’s that or Twice. I know dance the night away by heart.”

“Sure. Put anything that'll keep you awake.”

“We should make a shared playlist.” Seongmin commented, already looking through his music library.

Contrary to what he said, Seongmin didn't put on his girlgroup playlist, instead putting songs he knew both of them liked. It was a fun ride (as long as he didn't acknowledge the fact that Taeyoung was driving), and they stopped only once at a fast food’s drive through to get some food. Seongmin obviously stole some of Taeyoung's french fries (passenger princess privileges!), but he traded them for sips of his soda so everything was fair.

When they arrived at the arcade, Taeyoung decided that coats were overrated and tied Seongmin’s blanket around his neck like a cape. It meant that Seongmin had to keep super close to him for the short walk between the car and the building, because he himself didn't bring a coat and didn't want to freeze.

And once inside— it was time to be crazy.

Seongmin took a look at his bank account just to know how much he could spend, expecting it to be empty. But it wasn't, weirdly enough. He was confused for a second, until he saw why; his parents sent him money. It was accompanied by a message, a little “have fun!”. It made him smile, sending a quick text to his mom to thank her.

“So, what are we doing first ?”

First, they went to the ACM. Then, they spent the evening playing a bit of everything. Taeyoung won at the basketball machine, Seongmin completely obliterated him at the rhythm game thingy. They spent way too much on claw machines and gashapons, filling their pockets with trinkets, and it was overhaul the greatest thing that happened in Seongmin’s life since summer.

Around the time the arcade was closing, they regrouped the tickets they earned to exchange them for something.

“What do you want ?” Seongmin asked, looking over the counter to look at the prizes. The girl behind the counter looked dead on her feet, poor her.

“There's a few good choices.” Taeyoung answered with his thinking face on, even going as far as scratching his chin.

It made Seongmin chuckle. He himself knew what he wanted the most— the matching My Melody and Kuromi fluffy keyrings. But he knew that Taeyoung was everything but a sanrio guy (hell, he was a LoL and FIFA player), and Taeyoung won the most tickets anyway, so it was just fair that Taeyoung chose. Seongmin was happy with his Shinchan gashapons and the one Pokémon plushie he managed to get anyway.

“I’m gonna take one last look at the claw machines while you choose.” He said to his best friend before walking away.

Earlier, when they were fighting with the machines, Seongmin noticed Taeyoung trying to get this random video game (? Seongmin actually had no idea where it came from) merch but giving up after a few tries. But Seongmin was down bad and wanted his best friend to get home with something that could make him happy, so he tried to get it.

It took all the money he had left, but he did manage to get it, and that was what counted the most.

“So, what did you get ?” He asked Taeyoung when they met up by the entrance a few moments later.

“Some candies.” Taeyoung replied, showing off a package. “You got anything at the machines ?”

“Nope. I don't have much luck.” Fortunately, Seongmin was a great liar when he really wanted to. Spending so much time with Wonjin helped a lot. He wanted the toy to be a surprise.

“That sucks. Better luck next time, yeah ? Now let’s go, we’re the last ones here and I think the staff wants to behead us.”

Seongmin didn't remember much from the drive home, falling asleep almost as soon as the car started. He had a flash from when they arrived, when Taeyoung helped him get inside and empty his pockets before getting in bed (in the clothes they used outside, ew) and falling asleep for real. It was a magical feeling, snuggling in bed against Taeyoung, seeking human heat from the one person he loved the most. Right before getting back into Dreamland, Seongmin wished this could become their everyday.

🌧️

The next morning, they didn't wake up because of an alarm but because of the noise of the rain hitting Seongmin's window. It was peaceful, kinda. The elements were enraged, but Taeyoung and him were all warm and comfy in bed.

They ate breakfast alone, Seongmin’s parents having already eaten and now relaxing in the living room, and it was nice. Kind of like playing house : waltzing in the kitchen to get mugs and food and cutlery, almost bumping into each other because they were still half asleep and not really aware of anything yet.

Then, shower time. Because these pajamas were definitely dirty. Seongmin took advantage of Taeyoung being in another room to hide a few things in his bag— the merch he got from the claw machines at the arcade, the drawing he made at the beach and his favorite pencil, for Taeyoung to draw with.

On Seongmin's sh*tty laptop because he didn't have a TV in his room, they continued the serie they started the other day. Obviously Seongmin ended up between Taeyoung's legs, back against his friend’s torso with the laptop on his lap and Taeyoung playing with his hand and hair for hours.

They only paused to eat lunch, go to the bathroom or fetch snacks. At some point, they moved from the serie to random YouTube videos to just some music as a background noise while they chatted about everything and anything.

But, every good thing had an end. The end of whatever this was (a home-date, to be honest) came in the form of Seongmin’s dad knocking at the door.

“Sorry boys, but Taeyoung’s train is soon. It’s raining, do you want me to drive you to the train station ?”

“Already ?” Seongmin looked at the time on his screen, cringing when he saw just how late it already was. “sh*t. Thanks dad, but we'll walk.”

“You sure about that ?”

“Yes. We’ll get ready now, we’ll be downstairs in a few.”

Even after his dad left, they didn't move or make a sound for a while. And then Taeyoung whined.

“I don't want the weekend to be over.”

“Hey, I was supposed to say that ! You can't just steal my lines !” Seongmin replied, already pouting.

It made Taeyoung chuckle. “Why can't I act cute too ? Is this reserved for you ?”

“Actually, yes. I’m the one who does the pouting and the whining, and you're the one who does the Chad and smooth things.” Seongmin explained, straightening up just so he could turn towards his friend.

“Chad and smooth things ? What’s that ?”

“A great example is getting on a train without having your ticket yet and arriving super late to my house without telling me beforehand just because I was a little sad. Smooth. Chad worthy.”

Taeyoung chuckled again. “Glad it worked. Do you perhaps happen to like smoothness and Chad Worthiness ?”

Tension rose. Like this day, back in summer, it was full of eye contact and things said with looks. Seongmin lost the battle once again, his eyes lowering to Taeyoung’s lips like magnets. Taeyoung did the same. For what was probably less than a minute but felt more like hours, they didn't talk. Just looked at each other like they were the only thing in the world, waiting for the other to do something.

Taeyoung's lips met Seongmin’s. It felt overwhelming but so right. It wasn't their first kiss, it was their third (once as teenagers, discovering things. Once when Taeyoung left, a few months ago.) but it still all felt new. Hot and cold, so so good.

Seongmin didn't know he had this many butterflies in his stomach. Wait, they were close enough to the ocean to say it felt more like jellyfishes floating around— tickling his insides but also feeling like they stung. It felt weird. It felt nice.

No thoughts, head empty, just Taeyoung’s lips moving against his. Taeyoung's hands on his cheeks.

Just Taeyoung.

Taeyoung, Taeyoung, Taeyoung, Taeyoung.

Gosh, Seongmin was in love. So deep in love it felt like drowning. Taeyoung did smell like the sea, after all.

But it was a good kind of drowning, somehow. Overwhelming but comfy.

Stopping the kiss to breath felt like coming up from the water, coming from somewhere where everything was muffled to be directly thrown into the loud reality.

“Wow.” Taeyoung commented. Seongmin wondered if he felt all these things too.

“Wow, indeed.” He replied, still trying to remember how to be human again.

“It definitely didn't feel like that the other times.”

“It didn't.”

A silence. Just to take everything in. And then a giggle. A laugh.

Wow. It did feel wow.

Seongmin burst into laughter, Taeyoung followed him. Wow.

Sadly, the time didn't actually stop for the five minutes they spent in their own weird love bubble.

After catching their breath, they moved. Taeyoung changed back into the clothes he wore on Friday and put his things back into his backpack (in another pocket than where Seongmin hid his things, luckily).

🌦️

“Wait, I forgot something.” Taeyoung exclaimed just as Seongmin tied the laces of his converse shoes.

“Dumbass. Go fetch it yourself, there’s no way I'm getting these shoes off just to put them on again in five minutes.”

“That's why I'm more of a Vans kind of guy.”

“Shut up, skater boy wannabe. Now go, you’re going to miss your train at this rate.”

Taeyoung blew him a raspberry before disappearing up the stairs. Seongmin sighed, a small smile on his face as he continued putting on his winter gear. He even got things out for Taeyoung, not caring about how he’ll probably not see this scarf or beanie for a while.

Once Taeyoung got back and finally put his shoes on, Seongmin forced the beanie on his head, took an umbrella, and off they went.

The walk towards the train station was silent, except for the few words they exchanged in morse code by tapping on the back of each other’s hands, because the sound of the rain against the umbrella made it impossible to talk.

Waiting at the train stop was a nightmare. Seongmin didn't want to send Taeyoung off. But he didn't have a choice. The umbrella was at their feet, folded as they were standing under the train station tiny outside roof (or whatever it was called.)

“Are you sure you can’t come back for Christmas ?”

“I’m sorry, Seongminie, but I'm aiming for nationals so I really need to train to win the upcoming competition.” Taeyoung truly sounded apologetic.

Seongmin pouted. “Don't be sorry. We’ll find some time. At least Wonjin and Minhee are coming, I won't be completely alone.”

“We can always talk on discord, too. The offer will stand until we don't have to anymore. It’s not a promise, it's a threat.”

It lifted Seongmin's mood. They chatted until Taeyoung's train came, huddled together to keep some heat.

Seongmin watched Taeyoung walk to the train’s open door. The scene was in slow motion in his head, adrenaline rushing through his veins. This time, he wouldn't let Taeyoung go without a real goodbye.

“Wait !” He rushed to his friend, rain already drenching him, and took Taeyoung's face between his hands before going on his tippy toes to kiss him.

It felt like drowning again, his heartbeat setting the tempo of the waltzing jellyfishes in his stomach.

The kiss was a bit dramatic. With no one to watch them except a mom hiding her kid’s eyes in the train, they moved their lips like there was no tomorrow. For them as a us, there really was not any tomorrow (at least, not together), so it was pretty fitting.

They only stopped because of the robotic voice announcing the doors would close in a minute. Looking at each other, both looking like sad wet dogs. The sun shone right at this moment, like they were in a movie. The rain lessened, going from what felt like buckets directly thrown at them to just a few drops, just as cold but way less violent.

“Go.” Seongmin urged. “Go and train to win this stupid competition.”

Taeyoung smiled. “Okay. You, go and draw some sh*ts that makes you happy.”

Seongmin nodded. The train rang, announcing the door was closing. Taeyoung rushed in, his bag almost getting caught in between the doors.

It made Seongmin laugh. He watched the train start, picking up speed before disappearing. It kind of felt unreal, like he just dreamt of this entire weekend. But it couldn't be a dream— he still felt the ghost of Taeyoung’s lips on his own lips.

There was a rainbow in the sky.

“Ha. I knew whoever or whatever created the universe loved gay people.” Maybe Taeyoung went away with a few of Seongmin’s brain cells in his pocket, because now Seongmin was walking under the rain without opening his umbrella, talking to the sky. “Thank you for being an ally, sky ! I love that for us !”

🌈

When he walked back into his room to fetch some clothes to change into, Seongmin immediately noticed something sticking up on his desk. He definitely cleaned everything the day before, there shouldn't be anything here—

A Kuromi fluffy keyring. There was the Kuromi keyring he saw yesterday at the arcade, spread out on a paper with a drawing Seongmin couldn't completely see yet. He was confused, to say the least.

So he shot a pic and sent it to Taeyoung with a text consisting of “?????”

Taeyoung replied a few seconds later with a pic of his own bag, the matching My Melody keyring hung on one of the zippers. “saw u looking at it at the arcade :p i kept my melody bcuz like that i have u and u have me”

Seongmin was glad he was alone in his room, because the dumb smile blooming on his face would be embarrassing to explain. “you’re crazy. look at the pocket you never use in your bag”

The answer took a moment to arrive. Seongmin used the time to hang the keyring to his own bag and finally look at the drawing, recognizing it as the paper he gave Taeyoung to draw on when they were at the beach. There were a few doodles of what Seongmin guessed was a dragon, and in the center— a drawing of Seongmin himself. It was definitely not perfect and even goofy looking, but it wasn't terrible and wow, Seongmin was so in love with Taeyoung it was embarrassing.

So, he finally took off his ruined IVE poster from the wall and used the space to pin the drawing, like the pitiful little gay (pansexual, really) he was.

He opened his phone again once he got in bed.

“nd im the crazy one???? bro u got me jinx its basically a proposal”

“also sick drawing im gonna brag to everyone”

“plz dont put mine on fire not everyone can be vangohg or however u write his name”

“thk u seongminiiiie”

Smiling so much for a nerdy, anime fan and double texter should be embarrassing. It was embarrassing.

But Seongmin was just too happy not to, and it wasn't like anyone was seeing him like this, so he kicked his feet in the air before answering and spent the whole time Taeyoung was in the train texting him and feeling as giddy as a middle school girl.

🌨️

Going back to school felt like reality kicked him behind the knees and spit on his face. His whole weekend had been perfect, and now Seongmin felt bored out of his mind again. It was gray everywhere he looked, both in weather and in the metaphorical way of seeing life.

But he felt like his batteries had been recharged. He could go through it.

When he was bored, he tried to draw. When he missed Taeyoung so hard it hurt, he looked at the keyring on his bag and tried to trick his brain into thinking they’d see each other soon. Maybe next time they would talk about the kisses and what it meant. Or just kiss again. Maybe they’ll even go on dates .

The 9 o'clock calls helped too. They never talked about the obvious feelings, but Taeyoung was flirting and Seongmin couldn't not play into it.

Winter break started. Minhee and Wonjin stayed for almost the whole two weeks.

Even if neither of them celebrated Christmas, they spent the day together, watching dumb movies in Wonjin’s room.

They obviously celebrated the new year together too. Except Seongmin had no idea what went down, because he drank too much too early in the night. He had the vague memory of talking to Taeyoung on the phone, but that was around all, and Taeyoung didn't want to tell him what he said.

Minhee was no help, having passed out after one beer. And Wonjin just told him he was “a desperate little gay” and left it at that. Fake friends.

Embarrassingly enough, Seongmin asked the guys to help him learn how to properly play a few of the video games they played with Taeyoung. Wonjin gave him a look when he asked, probably knowing why he was suddenly interested in what he always called ‘loser sh*ts’. Minhee, the everlasting f*cker he was, laughed at his face and called him a loser.

Seongmin obviously called the taller out on the time he spent texting Hyeongjun. When Wonjin became a bit too co*cky, he also clowned him about how much he talked about Jungmo. In the end, it turned against him, because “You’re not just a loser, you’re a bitchless one at that. Jealous, bitter, pining loser !”

Seongmin locked them out in the garden without their shoes until they apologized to him.

Before they went back to uni, the first snow fell. They obviously played outside like little kids and filmed the First Snow challenge for Wonjin’s flop of a tik tok account. Seongmin got a fever because of the amount of snow they stuffed in his coat and Minhee slipped on ice so badly he sprained his ankle.

Perfect way to spend a break.

🌨️

Exam season. Well, first batch of exams, the rest would come in may.

Seongmin and Taeyoung called off the calls until they were back to their regular schedule to have time to revise.

Seongmin had never hated being alive this hard. It was hell. Exams and exams and revisions and exams, for two whole weeks. No time to chat with anyone in between, because he used all his time off to nap.

Today, he took his last exam. Meaning it was time for a mental breakdown hair change.

He passed by Wonjin’s parent's supermarket and, instead of buying his usual bleach (that they restocked just for his monthly root touching), he went to the brown dye without letting himself think about it.

Taeyoung’s call surprised him. He forgot today was the day they were supposed to start again, meaning he currently had a plastic bag on his head so as not to stain everything in his room while the gooey dye did its job.

“Yo ! You finished your exams today, right ?”

Seongmin was a bit taken aback by his friend almost screaming in his ears, without even taking time to do their usual soundcheck. “Yes ?”

“Okay, listen. I know we still have classes and all, but my swim competition is in a few days and Hyeongjun’s dance thing is like a week after that and— my roommate, he’s going to his boyfriend’s for a live together trial or sh*t, i don't know—”

“Yes.” Rush of adrenaline. Seongmin knew Taeyoung like the back of his hand, all this rambling, it could only mean one thing.

“You don't even know what I'm going to ask.”

“You’re asking me if I want to come to your apartment, right ? The answer is yes. I’ll buy train tickets right now.”

“I already bought it.” Taeyoung admitted, probably embarrassed, if Seongmin read his voice right.

It made Seongmin giggle, all giddy. He was going to see Taeyoung ! “What would you have done if I said no ?”

“Eerh, probably ask for a refund or send it to my mom I guess. But you said yes so it’s not an issue ! I’m sending you the pdf right now, your train’s tomorrow at eight.”

“Are you crazy ? That’s so early ! I have to tell my parents and send an email to my school !”

“Sounds like a you problem ! Pack some sports clothes. Or not, I can lend you some I guess. I don't care, you could come with nothing but yourself and I'd give you everything you need. Anyway, see you tomorrow, I'll be waiting at the train stop, good night !”

And Taeyoung hung up just like that, without letting Seongmin say anything else.

Well. He just had to pack a bag and find an excuse for school. And tell his parents he was going away for a time he didn't even know yet. After he rinsed his hair from the dye, though.

☁️

Seongmin had a terrible problem.

He was ugly with brown hair. Which was an issue, since he currently had brown hair. And unfortunate, because his natural hair color was brown.

He wanted to cry. He should've bought the bleach and not this stupid dye. Why didn't he buy the bleach ? And why did Taeyoung just have to get the ticket for tomorrow ? That didn't leave him enough time to do anything about it !

f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. Seongmin was freaking out.

He’ll have to hide it. Maybe book a hair appointment in Taeyoung's city, even if it would cost him triple than just doing it himself.

Thankfully, it was still so cold outside he could wear a beanie. That’ll do it.

Still, that brought his mood down. Seongmin packed his bag with reluctance, throwing his clothes in without a care. Taeyoung bought him a one way ticket, meaning he had absolutely no clue how long he’d stay there, therefore he packed two pairs of pants, a few shirts and underwear, one hoodie and decided that he’ll steal Taeyoung’s clothes if needed. He also added his laptop, his almost full sketchbook and his drawing supplies (even his watercolor paints!) just in case.

Now, all he had to do was tell his parents. And find an excuse for school.

“Mom ?” He asked, still half hidden behind the wall by the door of the kitchen.

She turned from the sink, raising an eyebrow when she saw his posture. “Last time you looked at me like that, you needed a presentation board on a sunday night. What’s up ? Also, you better not have stained the shower again. But I love the hair, you're cute like that.”

“The shower is perfectly stainless.” He answered, getting completely inside the room. “Taeyoung invited me to spend some time at his apartment.”

“Oh, great ! A weekend away can only do you some good.”

“It’s, uh, not only for the weekend. There’s like, his competition soon, and Hyeongjun’s the week after. He already bought the ticket and all.”

His mom was silent for a second. “And school ?” She asked, probably knowing the answer.

“I'm finished with my exams for now, and… you know how I'm with school. I just—”

“Okay. Is your bag packed ? I’ll make you something to eat in the train. Do you know when you’ll come back ?”

Seongmin was once again taken aback. He thought his mom would at least try to deter him from going, but she just.. accepted with a smile.

“Not really. In two weeks ? Maybe three. I don't have a return ticket yet.”

She hummed. “Okay. I’ll tell your dad. Minhee’s dad is a doctor, he can make you a paper saying you caught mononucleosis or something, I'll text him later. Wake us up tomorrow, we’ll drive you, it's supposed to rain.”

“Thank you, mom. Really.” He rushed to hug her, and she laughed as she hugged back.

“Anything to see you smile, honey. Now go to sleep. And put your towel to dry !”

🌧️

Seongmin made sure all his hair could be hidden by his beanie before getting in the car to the train station. The night didn't change his view on it : he should've gone for any color but brown. Seriously, that was the worst timing to destroy his hair.

The train was empty. Not surprising, it was a weekend but still in the middle of school period in the middle of nowhere.

He was texting Taeyoung. Obviously, he was texting Taeyoung. They were talking about this and that, also gossiping about their friends (Serim and Allen were a bit too in love these days, Seongmin was sure something happened. Taeyoung insisted that if they did get engaged, they would've talked about it already.).

And then, a certain text made Seongmin freeze.

“btw swim team wanted to do smthing for my bday tonight after practice like a party or smthing but idk if ur down for it? i know you don't like strangers very much and all”

That made Seongmin look up the date and— January 27. Taeyoung’s birthday was today but he forgot because when he was still in his ‘I hate him’ phase he deleted the reminder of his phone and didn't think of putting it back and he didn't realize it was today. Shoot. He didn't have a gift. At least Taeyoung would hopefully not have guessed he forgot yet, because Seongmin wasn't the type to text a happy birthday and would either say it face to face or at least in a call.

Well, he’d have to improvise. Sneak out during the day and buy something that would not scream last minute gift.

“it's your birthday, if you want to party, do it. i can sit in a corner if it gets tiring or anything. i don't have party clothes though”

“yay :D im texting them were doing it then. it prolly not gonna be insane were pretty chill”

“for clothes you can take some of mine or my roommate’s or even go in pj”

“anyway when is ur train arriving my fingers are FREEZING OFF the trainstation isn't heated :(“

Seongmin giggled, blushing when he realized how loud he was (a few people had gotten in since the start of the journey, and one of them threw daggers at him with their eyes). It’s just that he heard Taeyoung’s whiny voice in his head, imagining his distraught face over something he could easily avoid if he wore gloves or just put his hands in his pockets.

“the lady in the speakers says in like 10 minutes please keep your fingers until then”

Somehow, these ten minutes were harder than the couple hours he already spent sitting in his seat. Seongmin could feel impatience buzzing under his skin. He tried to keep himself occupied by putting everything back in his backpack (that was truly holding for dear life, but Seongmin had been too lazy to look for a suitcase), scrolling on his phone and rearranging his make-up a little bit (make-up that he had put on during the train ride because he was getting bored), but he still somehow had seven minutes to wait. So he just sat straight with his bag on his lap, burning holes into the screen showing the stops and how much time it would take to reach them, almost counting seconds in his head.

He was the first to get out out the train, almost teleporting on the platform. This would be the first time he saw Taeyoung in like, a month and a half— you couldn't blame him for being excited !

When he saw Taeyoung, handsome Taeyoung waving at him from behind the gate, Seongmin almost started to run. But he was also not the type to run into someone's arms, because that would be uncool, so he just walked a bit faster.

He passed the fancy gate (which didn't exist in his town's train station, it was a bit hard to understand how it worked) and the giddiness bubbled so hard under his skin he felt like throwing up.

Taeyoung initiated a hug before even saying hello. Here, in the middle of a busy city’s train station’s crowd, with a heavy backpack on one shoulder and feeling cold as hell because he just left a heated space, Seongmin felt at home.

They stayed like that for a minute. Seongmin would say it was just Taeyoung being clingy, but he didn't once try to back out.

“Hi.” Taeyoung spoke, smiling so hard Seongmin heard it.

“Hey.” He replied. He was smiling too, like a fool, but it was hidden against Taeyoung’s shoulder so he wasn't too embarrassed.

“We should get going, I need to give the car back.”

Like every time they had to move, they didn't, just staying like that. Well, until someone ran into them and started cursing at them because they were standing in the way.

It’s while giggling that Taeyoung finally broke the hug, extending his hand towards Seongmin with a smile. “Give me your bag, you look like it’s going to break you in half.”

Seongmin frowned. “Asshole, I'm not that weak,” he replied, readjusting the bag on his shoulder.

“The car is parked like, a ten minute walk away because I didn't want to pay for the parking lot.”

Seongmin immediately threw his bag onto Taeyoung. That made the other laugh, little fangs showing. “Knew it. What did you even put in that, it’s so heavy !”

Taeyoung asked as he started walking, Seongmin following behind him.

“Just stuff, y’know. Clothes, make-up, skincare, paints…”

“How did you put so many things inside ?”

“Spite.”

Another laugh. Seongmin didn't know he missed hearing it IRL this much, but wow did this sound warm his insides.

They finally entered the car, and this time Seongmin wasn't as moved as the first time he saw Taeyoung behind the wheel. Still completely in aw, but he managed to hide it better.

“How much time until we're at yours ?” He asked to take his mind out of the pretty view that was his best friend with a hand on the steering wheel.

“Fifteen ? Twenty minutes if the ice on the road didn't melt yet. You can use my phone to put some music on, I finally got a Spotify premium subscription. It’s in my pocket, wait just a minute.”

At the closest red light, Taeyoung got his phone out and carelessly threw it on Seongmin’s lap.

“Aux cord should be in the glove compartment.”

“What’s your PIN code ?” Seongmin asked, looking for said cord. He was pleasantly surprised to see the glove compartment wasn't a total mess but neatly organized— with tissues, a chewing gum pack and the rolled cable he was looking for. “Dang, how the hell is a glove box compartment neater than my room ?”

“Intak’s boyfriend, Theo, is like, a super neat freak. And it extends to his car. Code is 2701, by the way.”

“Your birthday? That’s unsafe as hell.” Seongmin commented as he unlocked the phone to open Spotify. He smiled at the home screen : it was the pic they took with the big ass sandcastle during summer, all nine of them looking like fools with big smiles and insane tan marks (featuring red as a lobster Hyeongjun.)

“Well, not my fault you’re born the first of your month.”

Seongmin raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ? How is that my fault ?”

“I’m born on the 27th, you’re born on the first. 2701.”

Oh. Seongmin had to fight a smile. That was— sweet. Adorable. “Cringe.” He said instead of saying anything nice. “Could believe you’re in love with me or something.”

“Or something. Now put on music, you can look in my playlists, I made one with songs you like.”

Seongmin did as told to ignore the weird vibe he created himself. Or something. They really were something.

He tapped on the playlist named “to my melody” with a cute icon (he hadn't expected Taeyoung to go this far, but that was absolutely adorable) and let Jihyo’s voice fill the car for a bit, until they started chatting again about whatever.

Or something. Seongmin wondered what Taeyoung could be implying.

☁️

“Theo, Intak, that’s Seongmin. Min, this is my roommate Intak and his boyfriend.”

Seongmin waved shyly to the guys sitting on the couch, almost trying to hide behind Taeyoung. He was a bit tired from the journey to get here and honestly didn't want to socialize with new people right now, being the introvert he was.

“Oh, famous Seongmin !” Intak (?) exclaimed. “Just as cute as Youngtae described you.”

“Taaaak, please!” Taeyoung complained, making Seongmin giggle. “Anyway. Theo, your car keys, please take him away from here.”

Theo nodded. “I know, he’s embarrassing as hell.” Intak whined. “Anyway, we’re going. Intak, move your ass. Taeyoung, Seongmin, have a good time.”

Seongmin watched them get out without a noise, just waving again to be polite.

“Sorry for them, they’re weird. Gosh, I'm literally seeing them in an hour for swim practice, someone kill me please. Huh, yeah, that’s my apartment ! Did you pack slippers or should I find you some ?”

“I can just stay in socks.” Seongmin answered, getting his big coat off. He kept his beanie, though.

Taeyoung frowned. “Bad idea, I don't want to know which color they’ll take, we don't even own a mop. Just put these on for now, I'll find new ones later.”

He then slid his slippers to Seongmin, himself staying in socks. It made Seongmin smile. Taeyoung seemed like a mess, and it wasn't often that he saw his friend like this.

“So, quick tour ! You can see the kitchen here, the living space here, the bathroom door right over there and the rooms on the other side, mine's the left door.”

The apartment was a bit of a shoebox, but it was also one with two separate bedrooms and a bathroom owned by college students so Seongmin was honestly kind of impressed. It wasn't messy, and it smelt kind of nice, so he assumed they cleaned recently. It was also a boy apartment. No shoe rack, no cushions on the couch, no rug or even a coffee table but three game consoles by the TV and an Arcane poster taped to the fridge door.

“What do you think ?”

“Pretty nice.”

“Cool. I know you just arrived and all but I need to eat lunch and get ready for practice. By the way, do you want to come with me or stay here ?” Taeyoung put his bag on the couch before getting into the kitchen, and Seongmin followed him like a broken sims because he didn't quite know what to do with himself yet.

“I’ll just stay here, I think, to get accustomed and all.” Seongmin replied, completely lying. He had planned to go out and figure out a way to get a birthday present.

“‘kay, fair enough. Huh, is leftover pizza okay with you ? Or I have instant noodles. Sorry, I really bought the ticket without thinking so nothing is ready, I just really wanted you here.”

“Hey, Tae.” Seongmin put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “It’s literally just me, chill out a little. Pizza is fine.”

It felt a bit weird to be the one in this position. But Taeyoung was definitely way too stressed over nothing.

Taeyoung smiled with a sigh. “Yeah, I don't know why I'm freaking out, it’s just you. I just— it’s the first time you see me as Adult Taeyoung and not Chilling on the beach Taeyoung.”

“You literally helped clean my depression room, I couldn't care less about an empty fridge or anything. Now, I'm hungry so hurry up.”

They popped the pizza in the microwave and Taeyoung got two mismatched cups from the drying stack on the side of the sink.

Eating was a bit funny. Seongmin hadn't seen it before, but there was a table and chairs— a camping set. The type you can fold and store away between the fridge and the wall, for example.

“It’s because it takes too much room.” Taeyoung explained with his mouth full of half chewed food. Seongmin wondered how the hell he fell for this animal of a man. “When we let it out, either we trip on it or it hides part of the TV when we're on the couch.”

“It's kind of genius, actually. Not you being a smarty pants.”

“I know, I've got such a sexy brain.”

“co*cky much ? Close your mouth when you eat, you pig.”

In response, Taeyoung chewed even louder. Seongmin kicked him in the shin under the table.

It evolved into them kind of playing footsies. Seongmin was so happy to be here.

“So, plans for the afternoon ?” He asked when they started cleaning up.

“Uh, I'll be at the pool until four or five, depending on how it goes. And then I'm coming back here, we get ready, eat dinner , and then we go party. If you’re still up to party, obviously.”

Seongmin hummed. “Cool, cool. Go away, then, shoo.”

“Are you chasing me away from my own home ?”

“Yep. Get ready and go, I want to rummage through your things in peace.”

Taeyoung chuckled. “Okay, okay, let me just get ready to go then.”

Seongmin watched Taeyoung get ready while scrolling on his phone from the couch, updating the big group chat on what had happened so far (nothing notable). In a private chat with Woobin and Allen, Seongmin did expose his issues with his hair and non-existent birthday gift. Fake friends, they laughed at his misery (and then tried to give him solutions, but Seongmin liked to be dramatic.)

“Well, I'm off. See you, Seongminie !”

“Bye, train well.” Seongmin waved his friend off with a smile.

Taeyoung stopped in the middle of closing the door, suddenly seeming more serious than before. “And, uh, I’m really really happy you’re here. Like, seriously, I missed you lots.” And then he closed the door.

How was Seongmin supposed to ignore the ever growing feelings inside of him ?

🌨️

After a moment looking on maps for stores or malls close to here, then at public transport availables, Seongmin left the apartment with one thing in mind : find a present. And maybe buy some groceries because he was definitely not going to spend his time here eating instant noodles.

There was a mall not far from where Taeyoung lived, but Seongmin managed to get lost three times because he was only a city boy in spirit, not in practice— at home, there were only a few buses. Here, three buses had almost the same route and tramways were way too confusing.

After getting help from a sweet grandma, he finally reached the mall. And then almost started crying because it was so much bigger than what he was used to. For a second, he thought that maybe his little beach town was actually paradise— and then he spotted a build a bear and decided that this was paradise.

Taeyoung wasn't really a plushie guy, so Seongmin sadly had to walk by said build a bear. He did make a mental note about it being here to try to hint to Taeyoung later that it would be a cute date.

Wait, what was he doing, thinking about dates ? They were still only friends. Kind of. Friends who kissed and were vaguely aware of each other's not so platonic feelings. Anyway.

Walking around the mall, he tried to remember what Taeyoung could need or want.

He talked about buying a computer, but Seongmin wasn't Jungmo so that was not possible. He had also talked about a videogame he wanted, but it still wasn't out and pre-ordering something didn't feel like enough.

Seongmin was starting to lose hope. Taeyoung already had what he wanted the most, or it was way too expensive, or it didn't feel enough for such an important birthday. (Important just because Seongmin said so. 22 wasn't really an important age to be turning.)

He had an epiphany when he walked by a thrift store thingy.

When they were younger, Taeyoung always had this fascination for Woobin grandparent’s record player. Sadly, it was sold with the house, never to be seen again.

And right by the window of the store stood almost the same player, displayed with a big box of old vinyls. Seongmin didn't think about it for long; the price was relatively reasonable and it was too perfect of a gift to pass.

He got out of the mall with a much lighter bank account and a really heavy bag, but he was really happy with himself and that was what counted the most.

Getting back to Taeyoung's apartment was a journey. He only took one wrong tramway, but it started to rain in the little walk he had between the station and the building and he definitely looked ridiculous, trying to protect the bag from getting wet while also trying to move with a f*cking heavy bag.

Once inside, Seongmin hung his coat and even his beanie to dry, guessing he’ll have enough time before Taeyoung came back to put it back on.

He then took the player out of its bag, the vinyl box too, putting everything on the floor between the couch and the TV, and started to look around for anything that could help him clean it. Only problem was : there weren't any cleaning products in this apartment except a broom, an old sponge and a half empty bottle of dish soap.

Seongmin sighed at the pitiful shelf under the sink and prayed that tissue paper and some water would work well enough.

☁️

“I’m back with dinner—”

Seongmin froze at the same time as Taeyoung. He hadn't heard the door opening, meaning he was still in the worst slouching position ever on the floor and what was supposed to be a surprise gift on full display. He turned toward his friend, ready to explain himself (he didn't do anything wrong, but still).

“Huh, well, I guess you would've seen it today anyway but—” he started but cut himself in the middle of his sentence. “Why are you looking at me like that ?”

Taeyoung had apparently been in the middle of taking his shoe off when he stopped. A plastic bag was at his feet, probably dinner, and he was looking at Seongmin with big eyes and his mouth half open.

“Your hair.” He answered, pointing at him.

Seongmin got confused for a second, before remembering his biggest mistake so far in life. “f*ck, I forgot to put my beanie back on. Listen, I know it’s ugly but don't be mean—”

“What ? It’s not ugly at all !”

“What do you mean ? Brown is so ugly on me, and you were looking at me like I'm an alien or something !”

“Seongmin.” Taeyoung got his shoes off in the blink of an eye, advancing in the living room with the most serious face ever. “You can't seriously be saying you’re ugly right now.”

Seongmin frowned. “I know I am—”

“You're so cute, dude. Like, you’re so pretty when you’re blond but now you’re like— I don't know, cute but also super handsome. Like, I've never seen you looking so…”

Taeyoung crouched down as he spoke, taking a strand of Seongmin’s hair in his hand, looking at it like it was some sort of treasure. Seongmin didn't know what to say, feeling his cheeks heat up with the proximity and the words used to describe him.

“I don't know. Wow, my words disappeared.” Taeyoung awkwardly chuckled. “Hum, anyway. Sorry, that was weird. I got dinner for tonight.”

Tayoung got back up, leaving Seongmin alone on the ground, feeling his heartbeat a hundred miles per hour. That was— something.

Tayoung found him handsome. It was a silly thing to be so giddy about.

“Huh, thanks. I guess.” He replied after a beat, clearing his throat to have an excuse to look away..

Awkward silence.

Broken by a giggle from the owner of this home. “Man, we’re so bad at this.”

“For real.” Seongmin agreed, chuckling too.

The weird tension died down with that.

“So, what's all that ?” Taeyoung asked, pointing at the floor.

Seongmin straightened up a little, moving to the side to show off what he was doing. “Well, today's your birthday. This,” he gestured toward the now relatively cleaned player and the box of vinyls, “is your present. Happy birthday, Tae.”

Taeyoung's eyes tripled in size when he noticed the record player. “What the f*ck. Doesn't that cost like an arm, a leg and my great aunt ?”

Seongmin laughed a little. “Got it for less than a hundred bucks, I'm not going to lie. It’s supposed to still work, but I couldn't test it yet.”

“Dude, you’re crazy.” Taeyoung got on the ground again, this time right beside Seongmin. “It’s so cool. Thank you so much, what the hell, I thought you’d give me a drawing or something. And I was perfectly happy with it, by the way, I love your drawings but— wow.”

Taeyoung looked like a kid, with his sparkling eyes and the way he was already inspecting the player from every angle.

“I give you drawings whenever you ask me to, I couldn't just do that. There's also a few vinyls but I don’t know what they’re worth, I don't know sh*t about all that.”

Seongmin moved the box so Taeyoung could reach it and watched his friend rummage through it with a smile on his lips.

Everything just felt so right when he could see him. Taeyoung was here and not kilometers away and suddenly anywhere could be home.

Taeyoung found one he seemingly liked and fiddled with everything for a bit, plugging the player and then putting the vinyl on it.

For an instant, Seongmin feared it wouldn't work and how disappointed Taeyoung would feel. He guessed he could have a refund, or find someone to repair it, but still. That would be a disaster.

And then— notes filled the air. A really old song, with the music loud and the voice too muffled to decipher anything they were singing. Taeyoung cheered. “It works ! Oh my god, Seongmin, I love y— huh, you’re the best ! Thank you so much, best birthday present ever.”

I love you. That's what Taeyoung almost said, right ? Seongmin wasn't at this level of delusion yet.

It made him smile. He loved Taeyoung too.

It made him sad. He wished he could say it freely.

“I’m glad it works.” He responded.

“You know what, I'm telling the guys we're not going. They can celebrate it without me, I don't feel like going out again. What do you think about a home party in pajamas, listening to songs from the 40’ with cheap takeout ?”

“You’re threatening me with a good time. Can they really celebrate your birthday without you, though ?”

Tayoung shrugged. “They’ll find a way. Want to shower first ? I can lend you a shirt and all.”

Seongmin had pajamas in his bag, but he nodded. “I know exactly which PJ's I want.”

It made Taeyoung chuckle. “Sure. Take anything you want in my dresser.”

Seongmin hadn't been in Taeyoung's room yet. It was relatively well organized, except for the obvious mess of a college student just out of some exams, and it smelled good. Just like Taeyoung. Just like the sea.

It was small, just enough space for a bed, a tiny desk and a dresser. There were some trinkets and mess on top of said dresser— jewelry box opened and basically bursting, video game and anime merch, a stray bi flag, some CDs… Really Taeyoung core. Seongmin continued exploring, just because he could.

The bed was unmade, with some clothes thrown at the bottom. The desk chair basically drowned under even more clothes. The desk itself was kinda tidy; with a closed pencil case and an almost neat pile of papers. And the walls were basically disappearing under pictures and drawings. Some Seongmin recognized— Hyeongjun had this habit of taking polaroids since middle school and giving them to whoever asked first. Some drawings were the ones he mailed, or some Taeyoung printed from pictures he shared on discord. There were obviously some he didn't recognize; with people he didn't know, drawings Tayoung probably made himself but never showed. The cutest ones were those of a dragon with big ears and a rose in his mouth. It looked like the one Taeyoung doodled on the beach.

“Find something interesting ?” Taeyoung's voice surprised him.

“Just looking around. Are they your swim team ? I think I recognize Intak and Theo.”

“Yep, taken last year. There’s my classmates and rock climbing buddies somewhere too. I've got a friend who works in a print company, they give me discounts so I'm kinda printing every important picture I can.”

“Cute. You should get one of me, so you don't forget my beautiful face.” Seongmin joked, finally moving to get pajamas from the dresser, which had been his task before getting distracted.

“Thinking high of yourself, I see.” Taeyoung laughed. “Now go shower, and leave me some hot water please.”

In the bathroom, Seongmin finally understood how Taeyoung managed to smell like the sea even in the big city. This guy had a full assortment of shampoo, body wash and even hair oil scented like ocean salt and monoï.

It made him giggle. Sometimes Taeyoung was the perfect cliché of a boy, and sometimes he was the most perfect guy someone could ever think of. (In this case, Seongmin was someone. Seriously, nothing could be more charming than someone taking care of themselves.)

When he got out the bathroom, Seongmin was smelling like Taeyoung and drowning in that same pair of pajamas he always wore, the one he claimed back in summer, which showed too much of his cleavage and was a tripping hazard.

Taeyoung immediately smiled upon seeing him. “You look dumb like this.”

“And you always look dumb so I don't care. Now go wash the pool water out of your hair and let’s eat, I'm hungry.”

“It’s not even six thirty.”

“Do I look like I care ?”

Taeyoung gave him the middle finger and closed the bathroom door with a laugh. Seongmin let himself fall on the couch, burying his nose into his shirt’s fabric.

A few minutes later, he heard a yelp from the bathroom, followed by Taeyoung screaming.

“How f*cking hot is your shower water, dude ?”

Seongmin laughed so hard he almost choked.

🌧️

They ate dinner early. Taeyoung got them the most basic Korean take out ever with some sodas, and his candles consisted of Seongmin's phone’s flashlight because obviously he didn't have actual candles.

Seongmin offered to put away everything so Taeyoung could play with his new toy, only feeling helpful because it was a special day.

Taeyoung played a few different vinyls, trying to find one he liked. Just as Seongmin put the folded table back against the fridge, the notes playing from the player seemed familiar.

“Hey, didn't Woobin’s grandparent have this one ?” He asked, turning toward the living space.

He was surprised by Taeyoung being right here in front of him, with a hand extended toward him and the most charming smile ever. “Would you do me the honor of dancing with me ?”

Jellyfishes flooded back. Seongmin felt a smile bloom on his face just as he hooked his hand in Taeyoungs. “Don't trip on my feet.”

It felt like they were ten again, dancing on jazz in Woobin’s living room. They never knew how to actually dance on jazz— just making eachother twirl, swinging their arms, jumping a bit. Laughing and hugging sometimes.

Taeyoung changed discs a few times. Old jazz, more recent pop music (recent as in, the 80’ at most), boogie woogie (or something like that), a bit of everything. The rain hitting the windows and Taeyoung’s downstairs neighbors were probably not happy with them, but they didn't care.

They ended their little dance party when Taeyoung found a slow song. Instead of skipping to a more upbeat one, he went back to Seongmin to put his arms around his waist. Seongmin understood the message, hugging Taeyoung's neck in return.

They swung around for a bit, eyes locked. Nothing around them counted anymore, it was just them. In pajamas, with hair sticking out everywhere, but so happy.

Seongmin took a moment to properly look at Taeyoung. Tanned skin, brown eyes he could drown into. Sharp fangs who made Seongmin theorize about his friend being a vampire back when he read Twilight for the first time. Broad shoulders perfect to hug, a smile perfect to kiss.

He didn't know who initiated it this time. Maybe they met in the middle.

Lips against lips. This time it was tender, no rush, no desperation. Slow moves, without ever stopping spinning on the melody still playing.

With his eyes closed, Seongmin felt like this time he wasn't drowning in the metaphorical sea of his feelings. He was swimming in it, and Taeyoung was there to make sure he was keeping up.

The bubble burst when the music stopped in a weird scratch. They stopped swinging, eyes opened.

The moment was over. But it left Seongmin feeling like he was on a cloud.

“Happy birthday, Taeyoung.”

“You’re making it happier than ever.”

⛅

They slept together (as in, in the same bed. All their clothes were kept on.) because Seongmin would rather be squished against the wall than sleep in Intak’s bed for a ton of reasons.

They used Sunday morning to do groceries at a nearby store. Seongmin found it fascinating to have a big store opened on Sundays.

He took the leader role, because Taeyoung was ready to buy frozen meals and nothing else. In exchange for his knowledge on groceries (that all came from Woobin, if he was being honest), he sat in the cart and made Taeyoung push him.

It was a fun morning.

The afternoon was spent trying to make food. Seongmin was better than Taeyoung at that, sure, but he wasn't good. Everything tasted a bit weird, but it wasn't bad so that was a win.

And, not like he kept count or anything, but their lips met four times this day. Three quick pecks, and one real kiss while they waited for the noodles to cook.

☁️

Not feeling like spending his whole day sitting on a pool’s bench, Seongmin walked Taeyoung to the bus stop on Monday morning but did not accompany him to training. He instead spent the day walking around the city.

At some point, he stopped in front of a hairdresser, debating entering and asking for them to do something — anything — to his hair. Then he remembered the look Taeyoung gave him when he saw the brown and decided to be enough of a simp to not change a thing.

Wow. Love was making him dumb. He should probably grow a spine or something.

Around noon, his phone rang. He answered immediately when he saw it was his mom.

“Hi mom.”

“Good morning honey. Everything’s okay at Taeyoung’s ? Are you feeling better ?”

He started to smile immediately. “Everything is perfect. We didn't do much yet but— his apartment is cool. The city is everything I've ever dreamt about. Like, I can just walk and there’ll be actual stores, and everything is open all day long. I’m exploring today, and it’s insane.”

His mom chuckled. “Sounds great. Your brother is jealous, he was whining all weekend and I had to steal his blanket to wake him up this morning.”

“He got his girlfriend and all his friends three houses away from where he lives. If he wants to fight who has the most miserable life, I'll win easily.”

There was a bit of silence. Seongmin didn't expect himself to joke about that, neither did his mother.

“Uh, anyway. Did Minhee’s dad actually tell the school I'm sick ?”

“No, it would be a bit too obvious, sadly. But I did call, they think you’re depressed enough about your uncle dying that your mom had to call herself.”

“Don’t you and dad only have sisters ?”

“Exactly. So when you— if you go back to school, you’ll have to act sad and all.”

If. His mom was totally letting him know that she would accept him to give up school.

Seongmin didn't even think about that. Dropping out seemed so.. serious. Was he ready to do that ? What would he do with his life, if he did ?

“Mom, what if… I don't want to go back ?”

“Your dad and I will always support you, honey. If that's what you want to do, we’ll find you something else to do. But think about it seriously, okay ? It’s not something to do on a whim.”

“Okay. Yeah, I'll— I'll think about it. Have a good day, I love you. Tell dad I say hi when you see him.”

“Sure. Love you too, my little crab ! Text me if you need some pocket money or anything, bye bye !”

It left Seongmin thinking for the rest of the day. He wondered what would be best for him. School was making him depressed, sure. But giving up would mean he wasted two years and a half. And he didn't know what to do if he did give up. Without a degree, nobody would hire him.

He forgot about it when his phone dinged— Taeyoung texted him. He would arrive soon.

Seongmin would think about it later.

☁️

Next day, competition day.

“Are you sure it’ll work ?” Seongmin asked for the nth time, zipping up the jacket Taeyoung threw on him. It was the swim team jacket, with a big logo on the back and Taeyoung’s name on the front.

“The guys are loud and move a lot. If we get you in the far back and you keep that on your head,” Taeyoung shoved a cap on his head, “Nobody will notice you're here.”

Since the competition was a few cities away, the plan was to sneak Seongmin on the team’s bus so he didn't have to pay for a taxi or anything. A few of the swim guys were ready to help, keeping him a seat in the back and promising to distract the coach if she ever were to notice something was wrong.

“And if they do notice me ?”

“Worst case scenario, you’re asked to leave and I come with you in a taxi or another bus. But everything will be fine. Now let’s go, we can't be late.”

They took the bus to reach the school (and Seongmin was definitely not bitter when he saw it. It wasn't like it had always been his dream university or anything like that.)

Seongmin hid his face in the jacket, putting the cap even lower on his head. This was the important moment— sneaking in the swim bus. He had to be discreet, but Taeyoung needed to check in. Meaning it all relied on the guys already checked in. And Intak really seemed nice, but he also seemed a bit… simple. Not to be mean or anything.

They made it work, somehow. A guy (Kai ? Something like that) asked to open the second door of the bus, the one near the back. And while some other people were making noise, a girl (Seongmin didn't know there would be girls too. Taeyoung always said the guys, but now that he thought about it, Taeyoung always used this word as gender neutral) helped him get on and hide in the far right of the back row.

“Thank you.” He thanked the girl, who responded with a smile.

“It’s nothing, anything for Taeyoung's boyfriend. Cheer for the girls too, yeah ?” And then she walked back to what Seongmin assumed were her friends.

It left Seongmin perplexed. What the hell did Taeyoung say to his team ? They (as sadly as it was) weren't boyfriends !

“So, Seongmin right ?” A boy on the seat in front turned toward him.

“Huh, yes ?”

“I’m Gyuvin. You’re the one who burned his name on Taeyoung’s shoulder right ?” When Seongmin nodded, the guy smiled. “Dope. I wanted to do that to my own boyfriend but when I tried he kicked me.”

The guy at Gyuvin’s side seemingly kicked him again. “I will not let you brand me, you crazy dog.”

“Hey, it’s cute !”

Seongmin didn't expect for them to start bickering so fast, but he didn't mind. Their attention on him was embarrassing. And this Gyuvin guy also thought he and Taeyoung were boyfriends.

It took a little while and some other people talking to him for Taeyoung to finally sit beside him, bag-free and with a big smile. “Coach Bona and Coach Dongwook didn't notice anything wrong. We’re just waiting for two more guys and then we’re going, I told you it would work.”

“Wait till we’re there to say that. If I'm kicked out in the middle of the highway, I'm gonna fight you for real.”

Taeyoung just brushed him off.

They chatted for some time, up until the doors closed and the coaches got on. Coach Bona (really beautiful woman, by the way, Seongmin may be in love with a boy but he was still a pansexual mess capable of using his eyes) took the little speaker thingy of the bus and the noise made everyone still. Seongmin slouched to be fully hidden by the seats in front.

“Everyone, I hope you peed before you got on because we’re not stopping until we're there. Buckle up, don't get up unless it’s an emergency, yada yada, you know the drill. I expect everyone to be on their best behavior, but you’re all adults so I'm not worried. Also, for my dear couples, no kissing on the bus, it’s disgusting and if you break this rule you’re getting separated and one of you will sit with me. Clear ?” Everyone screamed something along the lines of ‘yes’, ‘agreed’ and that type of thing. “Good. Then, let’s go! Also, in case you get motion sickness, I have a few plastic bags.”

With that, she sat on her seat and the bus drove off.

It was animated, to say the least. Lots of noise and everyone talking with everyone. Taeyoung himself screamed a few times, chatting with people sitting at the front of the bus and even the coaches a few times.

Seongmin was getting hot, with the jacket and the cap, but he was too scared to take them off.

“See, I told you. We're good.” Taeyoung turned toward him, something about thirty minutes into the ride. Except that obviously, saying that would conjure something.

Like coach Bona. Coming toward them, using the seats to keep stable even though the bus was running. No amount of slouching could hide him when she was this close.

“I knew I counted one head too much.” She said, stern look on her face. Seongmin kind of wanted to die.

Taeyoung started to mumble explanations, but she stopped him with a movement of her hand. “I don't wanna know. You can’t just smuggle someone on the bus, it’s dangerous. If we ever have an accident, I need to know who’s in there, you may be adults but I'm still in charge. What’s your name ?”

“Ahn Seongmin, miss.” Seongmin replied, feeling his cheeks so hot he was half expecting his face to burst.

“Seongmin… Oh! Shoulder boy, okay, I know who you are. Well, Taeyoung, you’re bolder than I thought. Sneaking a boyfriend in.” She chuckled, losing the harsh face. “Anyway. Seongmin, you can stay with us today but it’s an exception and won't happen ever again. Take the jacket off though, you must be boiling in there. Feel free to interact with the others. Taeyoung, if you’re not on the podium today, I'm adding three hours to next week’s practices as a punishment. Got it ?”

“Yes coach. Thank you so much, I promise I'll have a medal by the end of the day !”

She rolled her eyes, but Seongmin definitely saw a smile on her face when she turned around.

“See, I told you we would be fine !”

“We literally got busted.”

“But you’re not on the road.”

Seongmin kicked Taeyoung on the ankle (lightly, though. It would be dumb to injure him now.)

The rest of the ride was fun. Someone took out a Bluetooth mic out of their handbag, and it turned the bus into a giant karaoke. Two girls were absolutely slaying— Lily and Haewon ? And even the boys kind of killed it. Like, Intak knew how to rap, that was for sure.

And then— Seongmin’s song started. (Well, an IVE song. But saying Seongmin’s song and saying IVE song was basically the same.) He made eye contact with Taeyoung, pleading for him not to do what he was probably thinking of doing.

Taeyoung did exactly what Seongmin didn't want him to do. “Hey, pass the mic !”

f*ck. The mic went from the front row to Taeyoung's hand, and then Taeyoung forced it in his. Seongmin was not ready to sing in front of strangers. But it was also super embarrassing for everyone to be looking at him, waiting for him to sing so—

“You and I is more than LIKE”

Needless to say, Seongmin forgot to be ashamed three words in and gave the performance of his life, accompanied by the girls and cheerings.

It was fun. The mic ended up in his hand a few times after that, and when they arrived at their destination, his cheeks were red from effort.

⛅

Even if Seongmin had been offered to sit with the team by both the coaches, he declined. Wonjin, Jungmo, Serim and Allen were here— he wanted to sit with them.

He did take Taeyoung aside, though. To wish him good luck.

“If you end up last I'm drowning you, by the way.”

It made Taeyoung laugh, which was the whole point. Since they got out of the bus, he had been stiff as a stick, probably stressed like never.

“You’re the one who’s gonna drown if you get in the water.”

“I’ll learn to swim just to embarrass you.”

“Sure, sure, I believe you.”

“I don't need your validation.” Seongmin hmpfed. “But seriously, do your best. You know how to swim, you know how to be fast, combine the two and have a good time.”

Taeyoung opened his arms. “Good luck hug ?”

“I would rather die.” Seongmin replied just as he got in Taeyoung's hug, squishing him hard. “You got this.”

“What if I really fail ?”

“Then you fail and you’ll try again another time. There’s gonna be a loser anyway, and even if you don't have a place on the podium, your team and us will celebrate you anyway. But I know for a fact that you’re not gonna fail. You’re Kim Taeyoung, Kim Taeyoung doesn't fail.”

“Sure. I got this. Thank you for— coming and all, I guess. If I win this one I'll have a chance to make it to the nationals, so it’s really important and— I would be happy to celebrate it with you. You know, I really lo—”

“Nope.” Seongmin cut him off. “If whatever you’re gonna say is what I think it is, you’ll tell me after. Now go, you have to change and all.”

Taeyoung smiled. “Okay, okay. Can I have a kiss, though ?”

Oh. New thing. They never asked for a kiss before. They just— followed the vibe. Never really created it.

Seongmin took Taeyoung by the collar of his shirt to get him to be low enough for a kiss. Short but intense, the jellyfishes stung everywhere.

“Good luck, idiot.”

And then he ran off to get outside, waiting for his friends, with his cheeks red and his stomach all twisted.

⛅

It took a while for it to be Taeyoung's turn. Seongmin used this time to spill the tea, as Wonjin was calling it, talking about everything that happened in these short four days together, and also about the months of texting and daily calls.

(He stopped from time to time to cheer on the people he recognised from Taeyoung's team, obviously.)

“You’re literally dating.” Allen said with a smile. “Like, dates? Hugging to sleep ? Kissing ? That's dating. Serim and I didn't even hold hands before we started dating.”

“And he basically said he loves you like, two times you said ? And he’s planning to confess. Or, you think he’s planning to confess. Seongmin, you are boyfriends.” Serim added.

“I know. But, like, we’re living so far apart. I’m not made for long distance. It makes me sad, you all saw how bad it gets even when we call.”

“Dude. Best friends or boyfriends, for you two, it’s basically the same. Had been for years. Establishing you’re boyfriends won't change anything, except maybe make you happier.”

Seongmin hummed. It made sense, as much as it hurts to admit that about Wonjin’s words.

“I guess you're right.”

“I’m always right.”

“Shut up. We all know that it’s not true. Jungmo, give us an example of Wonjin not being right please.” Seongmin asked, wanting to include Jungmo in the conversation (and also to change subjects while he thought about it.)

“When he said we could replace the milk in the recipe with eggs. Or when he said he had enough to buy something. Or when he got us lost in the middle of nowhere because he said he knew how to get to the restaurant. Or when—”

“Jungmo ! You’re not supposed to tell them that !”

They continued teasing Wonjin for a while, just because they could and Wonjin was easy to annoy. His voice cracking when he tried to explain himself about the eggs was worth the silent treatment he gave them after (for like, two minutes and a half. New record. Wonjin was a professional yapper.)

They stopped when Taeyoung was announced as one of the next contestants. The man in the speakers probably said other things, but Seongmin was too busy laughing his ass off to pay attention : he had forgotten what Taeyoung looked like in swimming attire and the seats were good enough to see it clearly. The swim cap, goggles and formal swimsuit was truly a sight. Funny enough for him not to drool on all the exposed skin.

He even snapped a pic, like the f*cker he was. This one was so gonna end up in the big group chat.

He calmed when the swimmers went into their ready position, though. Adrenaline rushed through his veins, and it was silly, because he wasn't the one ready to jump into the water.

Whistle blow. All the swimmers dived. Seongmin was at the edge of his seat, quite literally.

Taeyoung’s head was the first to come out after the lap. Seongmin cheered louder than anyone else. And then he remembered that this wasn't the only round— Taeyoung didn't win the thing, just qualified for the one after or something. Still, he was proud, and wanted to be sure Taeyoung heard him.

It continued like that for the next rounds. Seongmin cheered for the team (especially for the girl who helped him get on the bus earlier— Chaein was his new best friend, period.) and quite literally shouted anytime Taeyoung had to swim.

And, Taeyoung made it to the finale. Obviously. Because Seongmin wasn't friends with losers.

Whistle blow. Dive. Big rush of adrenaline.

Everyone got out of the water almost at the same time, Seongmin couldn't tell who won. Everyone was quiet, looking anxiously at the screen on which everyone's time would be shown.

Kim Taeyoung appeared second, just half a second behind the first. Seongmin got up from his seat and cheered louder than ever (which surprised everyone around him— himself included, to be honest.)

From where he stood, ridiculous goggles on his forehead and already bundled in his jacket, Taeyoung looked at him with a big smile. Seongmin gave him a thumbs up.

It took a moment for it to be the podium celebration, because the girls had to do their own finales.

Someone touched his shoulder as they were waiting for the swimmers to come back to receive their medals. Seongmin jumped, turning to whoever it was with big eyes.

Oh, Intak. “Oh. Uh, hi, why aren't you with everyone ?”

“Come down, Taeyoung wants you to see him get his medal.”

Seongmin turned back to the guys, not wanting to leave them just like that, but they all urged him to go. So he did, running after Intak.

They arrived just in time. The speakers announced third place, a girl wrapped a bronze medal around the guy’s neck and gave him flowers. And then— Taeyoung’s turn to get on the podium. His name was announced and he arrived from wherever he was. He changed, now wearing a tracksuit with the team's colours and logo, and his hair was towel dried and so cute.

Their eyes met for half a second, and both their smiles were probably dumb as hell but that wasn't important. Seongmin didn't hear a thing announced, too busy looking at the love of his life. The same girl as before gave him a medal and flowers, and Taeyoung looked so proud when he posed for the pictures with his silver medal.

The first place ceremony took way too long. Seongmin didn't care about whoever won, he just wanted Taeyoung to finally get off the podium to felicitate him and maybe give him a hug or something.

The second they were released, Taeyoung jumped off his place, threw his flowers at someone and next thing Seongmin knew, he was in the air. Taeyoung just— took him by the waist to make him fly or something. As if Seongmin was the one with the medal.

“Woah— slow down ! What the f*ck, Taeyoung ! Down, down !”

Taeyoung only laughed. “I’m f*cking second ! I gotta celebrate !”

“Well, let’s celebrate by putting me down !”

Finally with his feet on the ground, Seongmin lightly hit Taeyoung's shoulder. “You’re crazy.”

“Crazy in love with you.”

The whole world stopped for a second. And then— Seongmin burst in laughter.

“Dude, you are not confessing like that. I will give you a second chance.”

“Hey, that was perfect ! You said you liked it when I'm being smooth !”

“That wasn't smooth, that was cringe ! Try again later. But, you already know what I'll answer, yeah ?”

Taeyoung rolled his eyes. It would've hurt, if his hands weren't still on Seongmin's waist or if he wasn't smiling. “Okay, killjoy.”

“If I'm a killjoy then let me go.”

“Nope. You're my killjoy.”

“You’re so cringe today, wow.” Seongmin said before getting on his tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations on the second place. I told you you would do it.”

“This time I didn't even have to imagine you waiting for me. I knew you were already here.”

“f*cker. This is how you woo me.”

“Enough for a real kiss ?”

“Your turn to get on my level.”

Kissing in the middle of people wasn't something Seongmin ever expected to be doing, but here he was. It stayed soft, no real movement, just closed eyes and lips on lips. Seongmin was in love.

🌤️

Somehow, Seongmin ended up being the one wearing the medal. Lots of Taeyoung's friends teased them for the kiss as they waited to get on the bus. Wonjin had sent a video capturing everything from Taeyoung's getting on the podium to the kiss on the groupchat, and obviously the guys congratulated them (Woobin and Serim) or teased them (literally everyone else). They also congratulated Taeyoung in a video call. Allen said they would've loved congratulating him face to face, but they had to drive home now or they would be blocked in traffic.

The journey back was way calmer than before. Almost everyone was asleep, tired of a day full of swimming. Even Taeyoung crashed— the bus hadn't even started when his head fell on Seongmin’s shoulder.

Seongmin took a few pics that he didn't share, keeping them for himself.

Crazy in love with you. That was cringe. That was cute. Maybe he should've accepted it, answered with something just as cheesy, like “I've been in love with you for so long it’s not a feeling anymore but my way of living.”

He fell asleep with his head against Taeyoung's.

Coach Bona woke them up once they arrived. “Boys, up. You should sleep in your beds, not here, we’ve got to give the bus back.”

Seongmin almost groaned, before remembering that it wasn't his mom. “Yes, ma’am, sorry.”

She chuckled. “No worries. Taeyoung, I said up. Go ask someone to drive you back home, they’re already arranging carpooling outside.”

Seongmin had to basically drag Taeyoung out and get the bag from the baggage compartment himself because Taeyoung was basically dead.

“Oh, Taeyoung ! And Seongmin.” If Seongmin remembered correctly, this guy was Kai. “Want to crash in our car ? Lea’s driving, she came to get us and you’re on our way home anyway.”

Seongmin took a look at Taeyoung before agreeing. “I don't think we could take the bus like that, they’ll think he’s drugged.”

Kai laughed. “Yeah, he does that. Well, follow me, Hiyyih’s already in the car.”

Walking woke Taeyoung a bit more. And then he fell back asleep in the car. The ride could've been awkward, with Seongmin squished in the middle seat, but the Huenings (he really hoped he was pronouncing it right, even in his head) were angels so it was nice.

Seongmin somehow managed to get Taeyoung in bed. That was something. He was planning to let him sleep a little more, and then wake him up to eat a bit and take a shower.

And he did exactly that. He almost had to feed the noodles to Taeyoung himself, and he feared the guy would manage to drown in the bathroom, but everything was fine. And Taeyoung went to continue his night all freshened up.

Seongmin washed up and joined him in bed not long after, for once playing the big spoon.

“I love you too, dumbass. So much it’s embarrassing. So much it’s scaring me.” He whispered in the dark, getting no answer but Taeyoung’s steady breath. “So much I'm debating dropping out of school. So much so that even my mom knows it.”

He chuckled for himself. “Confess soon. And do it properly. Maybe at build a bear, I really want an axolotl wearing an overhaul and tiny shoes. Or maybe here, with old music playing while we dance. However, really. But please don't be cringe again, I don't want the others to laugh at us when I'll explain how you did it. Or maybe I should confess. Give you another vinyl, another drawing. Make you a new necklace. Just say it to your face.”

Seongmin fell asleep drowning in Taeyoung's smell, dreaming of days where they would live together and love without being self conscious about it.

☁️

Seongmin woke up with fingers poking his cheeks.

“The f*ck do you want ?” He grumbled, turning around to spare his face from being touched. “‘s too early to be annoying.”

“Let’s go to a pottery class.”

“No.” He then tried to go back to sleep.

He would've succeeded, if not for the constant poking in his ribs.

“Leave me alone, f*cker, I'm tired.”

“I’ve already booked it. Wake up.”

“I’m not going.”

“Yes you are. Come on, it’s already nine, let’s go.”

“I hate you.”

“Not what you were saying when you were drunk at new year.”

“What did I even say ? You never told me.”

“That you loved me and that I was the light of your days and that you missed me soooo much it felt like dying.”

Seongmin kind of wished to die. Drunk him was embarrassing. But that did the job at waking up, that was for sure.

“I take everything back, living with you is a nightmare.” He groaned.

That made Taeyoung chuckle. “Sure. Now, up. Breakfast is on the table.”

☁️

Pottery was fun. They had someone qualified showing how to make a mug and all the tools they needed to then decorate it. Seongmin was pretty confident in his artistic skills, as he was kinda good at painting and drawing and making jewelry and—

“Dude, are you sure we watched the same tutorial ?” Taeyoung was laughing like a fool. His mug was a bit wonky but there didn't seem to be any hole and it looked like what it was supposed to be.

Seongmin's, on the other hand, was probably cursed by satan himself or something. It had a hole, that was for sure, but not in the right place.

“Stop laughing.” he whined. “I don't even know how it got like that !”

“You’re sh*t at it, that’s all. I’m sure even Minhee would be better.”

“I don't like pottery.” Seongmin crossed his arms with a pout. “It’s dumb anyway.”

“Come on, you can't be good at everything. Here, I'll help you make it more… mug like.”

In the end, Taeyoung basically made both mugs. But it was fun. They went to a hole in the wall to eat lunch before getting back home to vibe for the rest of the afternoon. Taeyoung didn't confess.

🌧️

Since it looked like rain would fall forever the next day, Taeyoung decided their activity would be inside. He gently asked Seongmin to put on some sports clothes (locked him in the bathroom with said clothes after rummaging through his bag) and dragged him to his rock climbing gym.

Seongmin decided that maybe he didn't want to be boyfriends this much.

Sport had never been his thing. He had twig arms and a poor lifestyle. In other words : it took him one try on the easiest wall to decide that he hated it.

But Taeyoung was good at it. Like, Spiderman good. And watching him from below made Seongmin realize that he had a great butt.

For a split second, he imagined Taeyoung in a Spiderman costume. Then slapped himself on the cheek, because his thoughts were going way too far for a public space.

“What are you doing ?” Taeyoung asked, looking down with a puzzled face.

Seongmin felt himself boil from the top of his ear all the way to his neck. “Nothing.” He answered, his words almost stuck. “I’m going to the bathroom, bye.”

Oh god, Seongmin had thought like a man for a plot second just because he saw a butt (not even that impressive!).

At least, it pushed him to actually try climbing— he couldn't be all horny teenager if he was focused on his muscles burning and begging for him to stop.

☁️

They decided to spend the next day at home, because Seongmin’s whole body felt like it was on fire. (He was exaggerating— he was a bit sore in the shoulders and the legs, sure, but it really wasn't that bad. He was just lazy.)

“Hey, Tae, wanna play something ?” Seongmin asked once they were done putting breakfast away, gesturing at the game consoles. “I also have my laptop in my bag.”

Taeyoung raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you like playing ?”

Seongmin shrugged with a secretive smile. “A few weeks. Discovered I'm not that bad when I actually learned how to play.”

“Let’s play, then. You choose which game.”

They decided to play some Valorant first. The set-up was pretty simple— both on their laptops on the foldable table. Seongmin purposefully ignored the notifications of a week of uni missed, closing his mail tab without a second thought. He’d worry about that later.

“f*cking f*ck— what are those teammates, they’re dumb !”

It wasn't going well for him.

And Taeyoung was giggling like an idiot. “I knew you were co*cky. You’re sh*t at Valoooo !”

“I’m gonna kill you ! I swear, it’s the teammates, I'm not bad !” Seongmin’s answer consisted more of whines than actual words. He wasn't known for his patience— and he was seriously getting frustrated.

“Sure, Minie. It’s your teammates and not because you’re shooting at absolutely nothing.”

Seongmin kicked him under the table. “I hate you. f*cker.”

Taeyoung laughed even more. His team obviously won the game.

Like the really mature boy he was, Seongmin shut his laptop off and threw himself face first on the couch. “‘m not playing anymore.” He mumbled against the fabric.

“Come oooon Min. Don’t be a baby, it’s just a game. That I won, by the way. You’re a loser.”

“Kill yourself. Hope you choke on your spit.”

The couch dipped, and a hand found its way in his hair. “You’d be sad if I died.”

“Not true. I’d celebrate and dance on your tombstone.”

“Really ?”

Seongmin hummed positively.

“You wound me. Oh my, it’s making me so sad I'm having a heart attack. Aaaand,” Taeyoung moved again, and this time spread himself on Seongmin’s back. “I’m dead. Blurgh.”

“Get off, you’re heavy !”

“I can't move, I'm dead !”

Seongmin tried to move a bit, to get Taeyoung off of him, but Taeyoung was heavier and as previously stated, Seongmin was as muscled as an overcooked spaghetti.

“Get oooooff !” He groaned with no animosity whatsoever. It made Taeyoung chuckle.

“So you admit that me being dead would be annoying ?”

“You are annoying. I’m gonna end you if you don't move in the next three seconds.” Seongmin threatened.

“Oh no, I'm scared. I’m being threatened by a kitten made out of cotton candy !”

“You’re gonna taste the kitten’s claws, f*cker !”

With the power of being annoyed, Seongmin finally managed to make Taeyoung slide off his back. That led them to start wrestling on the poor couch, rolling and punching and scratching (all gently— it was just for fun, after all) while cursing and threatening each other.

“Gonna feed you to sewer rats !”

“Yeah ? I’m gonna throw you in the sewer since you can't swim !”

“Just try, I'll put your head on a pic !”

It went on for a moment, until Seongmin got on top of Taeyoung's torso, holding his wrists against the couch at each side of his head. They were both panting, hair everywhere, and Seongmin smiled because he just won over the muscled nerd under him.

“Who’s the kitten made out of candy now ?” He asked, co*cky grin all out.

Taeyoung had the audacity to snort at that. “Still you.”

“You can't say that while I'm literally on top of you. I won, you have to admit it !”

“I’ll admit that I’m under you right now. It definitely wasn't how I imagined things going, though, I'm more of an on top kind of guy, if you see what I mean.” Taeyoung smirked.

Taeyoung f*cking smirked. That, and the obvious dirty meaning behind these words, plus Seongmin’s imagination— well.

And this f*cker of a guy took the opportunity to reverse the roles, getting on top in a swift motion. “Got you.” It sounded almost like a whisper, a satisfied statement.

Seongmin felt his heart start to beat so loud he was persuaded Taeyoung could hear it. This, this wasn't supposed to be happening.

They locked eyes. The air was tense, way warmer than a few seconds ago.

Taeyoung was so close. Just above Seongmin’s face, his arms caging his head. It felt like all these times— Seongmin’s insides were tingling and turning and his heart was begging for more.

Taeyoung’s eyes moved, going from his own eyes to his lips. Seongmin did the same, looking at the lips he was already addicted to.

But Seongmin was as petty as he was in love. Both his arms were free.

Just as Taeyoung closed his eyes to go for a kiss, Seongmin finally got the control of his own mind back. In a swift motion, not caring about how good it would be to kiss, he took a finger to his lips to coat in saliva and put it in Taeyoung's ear.

“Wet willy, f*cker.”

It felt so good he almost forgave Taeyoung for doing it to him all these months ago.

Taeyoung who was now looking at him with the most shocked face ever. Seongmin probably never laughed so hard in his entire life.

☁️

“I’m so good at being a stay at home mom.”

There were things Seongmin never thought he’d hear coming from Taeyoung. This was one of them.

“Is it really stay at home if you just put an entire village at your mercy ?”

“They’re serving me willingly. It does take a village to raise a child !”

“You’re stealing my job. I’m supposed to be the housewife, not you.”

“Well it’s my turn. Go back to fighting monsters or cheating on me with whoever you’re seeing at the other side of the mountain.”

Seongmin looked at Taeyoung with a raised eyebrow. It all made sense in the context that they were actually playing Minecraft on the playstation (who the hell even has Minecraft on playstation? Well, at least Seongmin didn't have to buy it to play, with the local multiplayer or however it was called.) and the kids were the six wolves Taeyoung domesticated.

“I’m not cheating on you.”

“How can I know ? I don't see you with me, your wife.”

“Once again, I am the wife. You can't just steal my job.” Seongmin argued.

“And why would you be the wife and not me ?”

“I literally wore the dress when we married.”

“We were respectively seven and six years old, it doesn't count. You didn't even remember until fifteen minutes ago when I reminded you.” Taeyoung deadpanned.

“I’m divorcing you. I’ll take the kids and the house.”

Least to say, even Minecraft wasn't a calm enough game to stop them from bickering. They spent a long moment playing it, until Taeyoung got a message on discord, his friends asking if he was down to play with them.

He was about to decline, but Seongmin frowned. “You can play with them, you know ?”

“But you’re here, I can't just put you aside.”

“I’m here for at least another few days and I've been hogging you for the whole week, you can do whatever. I'm bored of Minecraft anyway.”

They moved to Taeyoung's room so Taeyoung could set up his laptop on his desk. Seongmin took his drawing supplies to get comfortable on the bed, ready to keep himself occupied. It felt nice, to be both together but kind of doing their own things.

Seongmin was still an introvert at heart, and doing things after things drained his social battery. The few hours he got of simply listening to Taeyoung felt just as good as a nap.

And he actually fell asleep without even noticing. One second his pencil was against the paper, sketching a tiny story he just had the idea of, and the next Taeyoung was gently shaking him awake by the leg.

Seongmin stretched while yawning a bit, looking at his friend in confusion. “Huh ?”

“Hi sleeping princess. The guys want to go clubbing tomorrow, to celebrate the competition and all, want to go ?”

“Sure, why not.” He answered, not even taking a second to think, because if he thought about it he’d say no, but he didn't want to stop Taeyoung from having fun.

“Yay.” Taeyoung smiled at him before turning back to his desk, un-muting his mic to confirm it to his friends.

Seongmin took a moment to properly wake-up before deciding that he was bored of drawing. He got up from the bed and poked Taeyoung on the cheek to let him know he was going back to the living room.

“Gonna call my mom.”

Taeyoung hummed. “‘kay. We’re playing one last game and I'm back with you.”

Seongmin nodded before going out for real.

He actually planned to call him mom, but Woobin somehow appeared higher on his contract list and heh, close enough. He clicked on the facetime icon.

When Woobin answered, it was obvious that Seongmin got him in the middle of his dinner making time.

“Hi Seongmin, need anything ?” Woobin asked, putting his phone against something on his counter. He was wearing the apron they got him for a birthday a few years ago, it made Seongmin smile.

“Not really, it’s just been a while since we called. And I'm bored, Taeyoung is busy.”

The older chuckled. “Fair enough. Well, if you have anything in the fridge, we could make food together. Kinda.”

Woobin helped him decide what to make with what was left in the fridge and they chatted as they made food. Seongmin listened as his best friend told him about the jobs he was applying to (because his current one really sucked), humming from time to time.

“Anyways, that's boring, work sucks. How’s it going at Taeyoung's ?”

It made Seongmin automatically smile like a teenager. “Pretty good.”

“Only pretty good ?” Woobin teased.

“Well, it’s absolutely awesome. I’m having the best time of my life, to be honest. I missed him. But don't tell him.”

“Would it kill you two to actually talk about your feelings ?”

He shrugged. “Probably. But he gets co*cky when I get emotional so it’s his fault, blame him.”

Arms around his waist, head on his shoulder. Seongmin almost hit Taeyoung square in the face because of the surprise. “Hi Ruby. Thanks for making this little sh*t admit that he does love me.”

Woobin, this traitor, started to laugh. “Hi Tae. No problems, it’s kinda fun. How are you ?”

Seongmin stayed frowning for a few minutes just for the sake of showing he was upset (he wasn't really, but well, dramatics) before joining in the conversation.

They ended up eating with Woobin still on facetime, because it had been a while since they last saw each other. It was a great evening.

☁️

“Hey, Seongmin.” Taeyoung whispered once they were tucked in bed.

“Hm ?” He responded, his face already hidden in Taeyoung's neck. Tonight they weren't spooning, just straight up cuddling, for no reason other than they wanted to.

“You already know I missed you too. But I'm also having the time of my life with you here. Just so you know.”

Seongmin smiled. “Is it worth skipping classes for three days straight without any good reasons ?”

“You’re a good enough reason. It’s also gonna be worth skipping next week as well.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Just for you.”

🌦️

They spent their morning grocery shopping and their afternoon doing a tiktok challenge (the one where you paint with someone and exchange canvas every now and then. It turned out pretty cool. And Taeyoung definitely had a thing for dragons, it was absolutely adorable.)

They ate a frozen meal, hot as magma on the outside but still frozen inside, and it was perfect.

Then it was finally time to get ready to go out. Seongmin didn't have any clubbing clothes, so he put on the only pair of jeans he packed and stole a long sleeved white shirt from Taeyoung's dresser. It was a bit big on him, showing off a bit of shoulder blade, and it would be good enough. Taeyoung put on one of his lacy shirts and called it a day.

Now, Seongmin was putting on makeup, keeping an eye on Taeyoung struggling with his hair through the open bathroom door.

“Why do you even own a hair straightener if you don't know how to use it ?” He asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Because I'm trying to learn. Now why does it look like that ? It always looks good when you do it like that.”

Seongmin snorted. “You’re just burning your hair right now. Let me finish my eyeliner and I'll show you.”

Taeyoung obviously took that literally, meaning he sat on the floor right in front of Seongmin and looked at him for the whole eight minutes it took for him to have symmetrical wings on his eyes. It was a bit troubling.

“Your foundation hides your moles.” Taeyoung commented when Seongmin put down his mirror.

“Yes ? It’s like, the point.”

“Your face is bland. I like it better with your mole.”

Seongmin looked at him blankly. “Do you want to fight ? Just call me ugly at this point.”

“That’s not— Seongmin, you’re not ugly. It’s just weird. You’re cuter when we can see it. Especially since you're not wearing your glasses, you’re basically someone else right now.”

Even if he sighed and rolled his eyes, Seongmin found it kinda cute. So he took a minute to erase the foundation off his nose and add a liner dot under his eye. “Here. Happy now ?”

Taeyoung's answered with a quick peck on his lips. “It’s perfect.”

It made Seongmin smile like a fool for an instant, until he remembered he had to be the bad bitch of this relationship. He cleared his throat, looking away to gather his thoughts. “Simp. Let’s go do your hair, you look dumb.”

There wasn't any space in the bathroom, Seongmin took care of styling his idiot friend's hair sitting on the counter and making Taeyoung slouch and turn so he could reach his head. It was a bit ridiculous, and maybe he burnt Taeyoung once or twice, but it was fun to do and now Taeyoung was hot with tiny waves to keep his forehead uncovered.

“That’s basically witchcraft. Seongmin, you’re a witch.”

“Sure, sure. Now go fetch my hairspray in my bag, or else it won't hold.”

Seongmin used the bit of time he had alone in the room to get off the counter and do his own hair. Taeyoung came back after a few moments, hairspray in one hand and makeup pouch in the other.

“Why are you touching my stuff ?”

“Can you do my makeup too ? You’re all fancy and pretty, I want to match.”

Smooth motherf*cker, Seongmin felt touched. “Are you really worth my expensive things ?”

“I’ll pay for your drinks tonight.”

“Get on the counter. And if you move I'll poke your eyes out.”

Taeyoung had never been good at staying still, but he did a pretty good job. His hands ended up playing with Seongmin’s shirt to keep himself occupied while Seongmin was fighting to blend the eyeshadow perfectly.

Seongmin was proud of his job. More discreet than what he was sporting, because Taeyoung didn't feel like a pink glitter kind of guy, but he still ate. And the eyeliner was pretty dang good.

“Okay, open your eyes,” he asked. “Perfect. Wait, no, it lacks lipstick. Don't move.”

And don't ask him where that came from, but Seongmin quickly applied the lipstick to his own lips. It wasn't the one he was already wearing, way more nude than his pink and plumping lipgloss.

“What are you doing—”

Seongmin pushed his lips against Taeyoung's. Jellyfishes swam around. He was surprised they didn't die down yet, they had kissed a lot of times already. Maybe they would never die down.

They made out for quite a while. With Taeyoung's hands on his shirt keeping him close, his own hands on his (way more than) friend’s pants, it was like time stopped.

“It didn't work.” Seongmin giggled a bit when they separated. Maybe he should've removed his lipgloss before adding the lipstick, because it looked like a hot mess on Taeyoung’s lips and probably his too.

“I have no idea what that was, but I'm all for doing it more often.” Taeyoung said, and if he were a cat, his pupils would probably be the size of planets with how happy he looked.

“Don't act like it’s the first time we kiss.”

“Dude, it’s the first time we make out on a counter. We have to do it again. But next time you gotta be the one sitting on the counter, though.”

Seongmin chuckled. Excited Taeyoung was so cute. “Sure, I guess. But now I have to actually do your lipstick. And mine.”

🌒

Taeyoung ended up wearing pink lipgloss. Not because he asked for it, but because he stole a kiss every twenty seconds while Seongmin was putting it on his own lips and it ended up transferring (just like Seongmin intended to that first time). It looked a bit weird, but he showed it so proudly to his friends when they arrived at the entrance of the club that Seongmin didn't say a thing, because it was cute.

He was completely head over heels, you could say it.

The club itself was insane. Loud and packed with people — a big city club on a Saturday night. Seongmin didn't really like this vibe, so he stayed at their table, sipping on mostly non-alcoholic drinks (he did order a few co*cktails to last during the night), and chatting with whoever came to take a break. Taeyoung came to check on him every other song, even managing to make him dance a few times.

He didn't hate the evening, quite the contrary. It was fun to watch Taeyoung lose his head on the music, because of how unusual it was. Nobody could guess the guy actually liked old vinyls better than whatever was playing on the speakers.

Right now, he was in the middle of a discussion with Ricky (Gyuvin's boyfriend, he only learned his name today). He had an eye on the drinks on the table and one on his almost boyfriend sitting at the bar to wait for a new round of drinks.

“Still can’t believe you got Taeyoung to wear makeup. He’s like, Gyuvin level of neanderthal.”

Seongmin snorted. “You’d be pretty surprised to see his bathroom. He’s way less of an animal as he lets on. Also, he asked for it.”

“I don't believe it.”

“I promise you that you’re the only one with an actual animal as a boyfriend. Taeyoung looks like a dog but acts like a cat. He’s like— wait, do you see what I'm seeing ?” Seongmin gestured toward the bar.

A girl just sat beside Taeyoung at the bar. Seongmin was not the type to slu*t shame (hell, he sold pictures of his feet sometimes when he really wanted some pocket money) but she was clearly showcasing her… voluptuous breasts to him. Which wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't Taeyoung.

“Girl, she’s hitting on your man.” Ricky commented. Seongmin would've laughed about the gossip girl type of voice he used if he wasn't boiling inside.

“f*ck she is. Can you keep an eye on the drinks for me ? They're the girls’, it’s dangerous to leave them unattended.”

“I got it. Go fight for your boyfriend !”

Seongmin stumbled a bit as he got up, and it made him notice he was definitely getting tipsy. Maybe that was what gave him the courage to walk to Taeyoung and sit on him to assert dominance over the girl.

“Baaaabe, who’s that ?” He asked, using his bitchy voice he knew was annoying as hell.

He felt Taeyoung cough to hide an obvious fit of laughter. “She was just getting to telling me her name. I think she wanted to be friends or something ?” Taeyoung answered, putting his head on Seongmin's shoulder and his arms around his waist.

Seongmin glared at the girl with his mean girl eyes. Poor girl probably didn't deserve it, but he was a bit possessive. She ran away without any other word.

Once she was out of view, Taeyoung finally laughed. “What was that ?” He wheezed.

Seongmin pouted. “Didn't like how she looked at you.”

“So you acted like a little bitch ?”

He shrugged. “It worked, didn't it ?”

“Sure did.” Taeyoung laughed again. “But babe is so not something you would call me for real. It’s giving Jungmo and Wonjin, not us.”

“What should I call you then, dickhe*d ?”

“My name’s pretty good too.”

“Motherf*cker it is.”

The bartender cut Taeyoung’s complaints short, pushing toward them a few glasses. Seongmin stuck out his tongue at him, counting it as a win.

🌒

They spent some more time inside before deciding to go home. Seongmin was a bit too tired and tipsy to really remember who drove, but there were definitely too many people in this car. Like, he was sitting on Taeyoung’s lap, and Chaein (his girl, his best friend, with whom he exchanged maybe five sentences) was sitting on him.

Somehow, they didn't get arrested on the way.

Inside Taeyoung's apartment, they tried their best to be quiet to not wake up the neighbors.

Taeyoung wasn't quite drunk either, maybe even less tipsy than him, but he was also thrice as tired because he danced the whole night. He crashed in bed without even changing.

“Taeyoung, don’t sleep yet, you have to remove your makeup.”

“I’ll do it tomorrow, I want to sleep.”

Seongmin sighed. “No way, you’re gonna get pimples. Don't fall asleep, okay ?”

He stumbled a bit to get his makeup wipes out of his bag and turned the light on before joining the bed. “It’s exceptional, okay ? Don't get used to it. Close your eyes.”

Seongmin was way more tender with the wipes on Taeyoung than he ever was on himself. He took his time, to be sure he wouldn't poke his friend’s eyes with product and that his skin was fully clear of any chemicals before removing his own makeup in half the time.

The world was a bit trippy once he got up again to put the wipes in the trash and turn the light off, but he did make it to Taeyoung's waiting open arms in one piece.

In the matter of seconds, they were snuggling under the covers, intertwined to the point Seongmin wasn't sure what limbs were his anymore.

“Hey,” he whispered after a moment of complete silence.

“What ?”

“Why didn't you confess again yet ?” The bit of alcohol still in his veins definitely helped the words to get out. Sober Seongmin would’ve been way too embarrassed to admit that he was waiting on that.

“Because it’s your turn to do it. I tried once but you said no.”

That took him aback. “I didn't say no, I said to try again because it was a cringe way to confess.”

“I don't care, it’s your turn. I won't do it.”

“But— you are supposed to be the one confessing and asking me out.”

“Are you pushing gender roles and heteronormativity on our super queer relationship of two boys ? Just because I'm taller ?” If it weren't such an important conversation, Seongmin would've laughed about the fact that normal Taeyoung never used all these words, not even once.

“I’m not ! It’s not because you’re taller or because of these dang hot muscles, it’s because… I don't know. Feelings are hard. It’s easier if you do it.” He admitted.

Taeyoung’s hand moved along his head until it found his cheek for a tender pat. “You're so cute. But I'm still not confessing again until you do it.”

Seongmin whined. “Asshole. I hate you.”

“Liar. Tell me you love me.”

“f*ck you. I love you. It’s embarrassing as hell how much I do.”

“Nice. I love you too. But you already knew that. Anyways, I'm tired as hell, good night. I love you.”

Taeyoung, this f*cker, actually fell asleep just like that, his breath evening out in the matter of minutes. While Seongmin was feeling his heart beat so loud, echoing in all his body.

They just— confessed. For real. While kinda drunk and at around 4 am, but, they confessed.

Seongmin felt Taeyoung shift in his sleep. He moved all the way until his head was against his chest, probably hearing Seongmin’s beating heart. It was all Seongmin needed to relax enough to fall asleep too, with a smile on his face.

He loved Taeyoung. Taeyoung loved him too. What a great life.

☁️

It was already bright outside when Seongmin opened his eyes. He took a moment to remember how the world worked, his brain still half asleep, and his head was hurting a little bit. He tried to stretch, but a weight on his torso stopped him. Taeyoung was still sleeping against his chest, hugging his stomach like a plushie.

I love you. Seongmin remembered Taeyoung’s voice telling him that. It happened for real.

Were they boyfriends, now ? He sure hoped so. That would be embarrassing to go back on their confessions to establish things. They should just do what they've always done : just go with the flow.

Seongmin tentatively put his hand on Taeyoung's hair. The guy always liked when Seongmin scratched his head, because Seongmin always had relatively long nails perfectly shaped for that.

So Seongmin did just that. Taeyoung's hair was still full of hairspray and probably disgusting because of dried sweat, but it was such a good way to wake himself up. Tender. He wasn't even the one being scratched but it felt like it.

Taeyoung woke up after a while. He grumbled, stretching a little bit before hiding his face completely against Seongmin's body.

It made Seongmin giggle. “Hey. Get away from my tit*.”

Taeyoung nuzzled even more. “You smell good..”

“It’s my disgusting clothes from yesterday, don't do that.”

“Smell like you still.”

Seongmin rolled his eyes but resumed the head scratches until his boyfriend (?) decided to get up.

Breakfast was calm. Eating toast and drinking coffee with a vinyl playing quietly in the background, properly waking up slowly even if it was already the middle of the day.

(Taeyoung’s foot found his own under the table. They didn't play footsies, but the small contact felt comforting. Sharing body heat and all.)

After putting everything away, they took turns in the bathroom to shower, and then back to bed they went because why not, after all ? It was Sunday and they deserved some time off doing nothing but exist in silence and cuddle.

“Hey, Min, we're boyfriends for real now, right ?” Taeyoung asked after a while, not even looking up from his phone.

“I guess so. Why ?”

“The guys were asking. Wonjin says he deserves emotional compensation for what he went through to get us to this or something.”

Seongmin chuckled. He hadn't opened his phone yet, a bit too tired for that, but that did sound like his best friend.

“Tell him all he deserves is my hand on his face.”

“Do I look like a mailman ? Tell him yourself.”

“f*ck you, useless hag. Pass me my phone.”

🌤️

Being boyfriends didn't change anything. Maybe because they already acted like boyfriends way before that. They still cursed at each other and fought for no reason at all, still kissed and cuddled and fell asleep basically intertwined.

Seongmin felt happier. Nothing changed except the label, but everything was different. They didn't bicker as best friends, didn't kiss as best friends. He wasn't scratching his best friend’s back watching TV, it wasn't his best friend’s head on his shoulder while he tried not to burn the kitchen making them food.

Boyfriend. Nothing changed but that. It felt like the whole world shifted for the better. They didn't even use pet names— not yet. Nothing felt right. (They tried for three days. Using different pet names, like the typical honey or babe or love, but that just made them burst out laughing.)

It was probably the honeymoon phase, as everyone called it. They didn't do much until the coming thursday, only getting out of the apartment when they needed to (a quick trip to the grocery store to get snacks and Taeyoung's swim practices).

While Taeyoung was away, Seongmin was drawing. Using the last few pages of his well loved sketchbook, he doodled an idea that always floated in the back of his mind but he never came around actually doing it. That made him wonder why he never thought of making a comic book before, because that was fun to do.

“Minmin ?”

Seongmin hummed, almost not looking up from his sketchbook. They were currently on the couch with a TV show playing in the background, Seongmin's legs on Taeyoung’s. “Hm ?”

“Want to go to the mall ? Hyeongjun’s competition is coming, Minhee's getting him flowers but I feel like we should get him something too.”

“Sure. Is it a us gift or are the others helping pay ?”

“Mo is helping for sure, I'm texting him right now, and I'm waiting for the others to answer.”

“Cool. Let’s go, then.” Seongmin got up, leaving his drawing supplies on the couch where he was previously sitting.

Taeyoung chuckled. “You’re still in pajamas, dude.”

“I totally knew that. I was actually walking to your bedroom to get dressed.”

Taeyoung laughed more but didn't point out that Seongmin was absolutely not walking towards the bedroom door at first.

🌤️

The mall wasn't too crowded because it was still the middle of the week, which was nice. They walked around, hands intertwined in Taeyoung's pocket because it was still cold (it was only February, after all.)

“Do you have any ideas of what he could want ?”

“I’m looking at the tons of things he sends with keyboard smashes right now.” Seongmin answered. “There's a Polaroid camera that costs a kidney, some plushies, some clothes, a pair of shoes… Why is he such a basic bitch ?”

“Says the one with a sanrio collection. Let’s go look at plushies, there's a kid’s store at the level above.”

They went through all the plushies of the store one by one, examining each of them to be sure to find the perfect one. They ended up buying two; puppies that looked exactly like Hyeongjun and Minhee, because Hyeongjun was a sappy bitch just like that (and they weren't too expensive.)

They also used the money the others sent to buy some Polaroid film, to repay Hyeongjun for all the pictures he gave them along the years. Seongmin got himself a new sketchbook at the store, to replace the now full one.

They were on their way back to the mall’s entrance when they passed the build a bear Seongmin had noticed the first time he came. That made him stop for just half a second, looking through the front window with envy. He was definitely jealous of the couple he was seeing inside, dressing a frog in a sailor's clothes. That should’ve been him and Taeyoung.

Taeyoung turned toward him with a questioning look. “Why did you sto— oh, that. Want to get one ? I think I remember you showing me a tiktok about it once.”

Seongmin immediately nodded hard enough to almost give himself whiplash. That made his boyfriend laugh. “Okay, okay, let’s go. I have no idea how this works though, I never came here.”

They spent some time inside. Seongmin had to be sure he had the perfect child, and Taeyoung just trailed after him while holding the shopping bags, asking questions.

Unsurprisingly, Seongmin chose the Axolotl one he had always wished for. Taeyoung disappeared for a moment after Seongmin got in the queue to get it stuffed, but he came back just in time to choose a heart.

The worker was adorable and really kind with them. She explained what to do with the heart (rub it with their hands and over their own hearts, cute.) with a bright smile, as if it weren't probably the fortynth time she had to do it today. Seongmin admired her for that, honestly.

Just as she was getting ready to close the now stuffed plushie, Taeyoung took off something from his pocket. “Wait, can we put that inside ?”

“Sure, it's here for that !” The employee exclaimed. “Did you record your message already ?”

Taeyoung nodded. Seongmin looked at the thing, a bit confused, before understanding what it was : the voice box thingy so your plushie speaks. “Oh, I didn't expect you to do that. What did you record ?”

“I know you’re sappy like that. And you’ll have to wait until you’re back to your home before listening, it’s a secret.”

The nice lady handed the now closed plushie to Seongmin before he could put his way through knowing what his boyfriend could've recorded. “Here, all perfect. You can now have its birth certificate made on the machine right there and choose clothes, have a nice day !”

Taeyoung took him by the arm to get to the machine. “So, what are we naming our daughter ?” He asked, tapping onto the little screen.

It made Seongmin pause. First, Taeyoung said our. Second, he called the plushie a girl. “It’s not a daughter, it’s obviously a son.”

Taeyoung turned toward him with a confused face. “What are you saying, it’s obviously a daughter.”

“Are you pushing gender stereotypes only because it’s a pink axolotl ?”

“No, I'm just saying that it’s a girl axolotl. Like, look at its face !” He stole the plushie from Seongmin’s arms to move it in front of their faces. “It’s a girl.”

Seongmin looked at the plushie, then at his boyfriend’s expecting face, and he sighed. Taeyoung was way too cute, acting like that. “Maybe we can have a non binary child. The first axolotl with pronouns.”

“I accept that. Still, they need a name.”

They looked at the plushie for a while, both way too serious about finding the perfect name for their first child.

In the end, the axolotl was named Lotto. They fought and probably almost broke up when they had to choose clothes— Seongmin wanted his child to have the overhauls, but Taeyoung was set on the swimsuit. After three rounds of rock paper scissors (which Taeyoung won), Lotto got the overhauls. Because Seongmin had the power of the pout on his side. But they also bought the swimsuit on the side, and a few accessories.

Paying was the least fun part— this sh*t was expensive. Especially with what they got on the side. They decided to split it between both of them and Jungmo, because Jungmo didn't need all this money anyways.

Getting home was fun. Taeyoung took care of the bags and Seongmin of their child, carrying them on his hip like an actual baby. They got some strange looks in the tramway but hey, those people probably didn't know how to have fun.

(Lotto sadly didn't get cuddled all night like Seongmin promised them, because Taeyoung stole their place. Sorry, Lotto.)

⛅

“Do you want to learn how to swim ?”

“Out of nowhere ?”

Taeyoung was getting ready to go out to his usual Wednesday practice. Seongmin was already drawing in his new sketchbook when his boyfriend asked, so that got him a bit confused.

“It’s just, I asked coach Bona if I could stay longer at the pool today. You don't have to, but that would be nice ? Since, you know, Intak's getting back soon and all. Spend some more time together.”

Seongmin smiled. It was sweet. “Sure. But I'm not wearing that type of swimsuit, I still have some dignity.”

Taeyoung chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Obviously not. I've got my old swim shorts somewhere, they should fit you.”

“Ain't it forbidden in public pools ?”

“It’s not forbidden if nobody knows. Come on, go get dressed. And no makeup !”

“I’m not dumb enough to put makeup on to go to the pool, asshole.”

⛅

Seongmin thought he’d wait until the end of practice sitting on a bench or something. He was wrong— coach Bona took one look at him before giving him a chronometer and a whistleblower.

Being a little helper was fun. The guys were cool, the girls cooed at him at least a thousand times, and he got to look at his boyfriend in his element. For a moment, Seongmin wondered if Taeyoung was a merman or something like that. Then Taeyoung spat a whole lot of water on his shirt like he was some sort of fountain so Seongmin erased his time without marking it on the paper and made him do it again.

When it was time for everyone to go home, Coach Bona gave the keys to Taeyoung with a warning. “If anything is out of place when I come back, you’re on cleaning duties until you graduate.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Nice. Seongmin, you've been a big help today, thank you. If you ever feel like coming by again, you’ll be welcome. Good evening, boys, be careful and don't die.”

They waited until all the boys got out of the changing rooms to change themselves, getting into swimming shorts (and for Taeyoung, taking off his swimming cap. They really weren't listening to any of the big rules of a pool, but nobody would know.)

Seongmin felt naked. He was very attached to his modesty, and usually went into the water with a shirt the few times he went into the sea, but now he only had some slightly too short swimming shorts and that was all.

And now, with his wet hair and lack of panty swimsuits, Taeyoung was hot. Wow, Seongmin was in trouble.

“So, you know how to float on your back right ?”

“Yep, my parents forced me to learn at least that since we’re basically living on the beach.”

“Cool. Well, let’s jump in and I'll show you. Come here, this part is shallow, you can stand.”

Seongmin wasn't really sure of himself, but he trusted Taeyoung so he let himself in the pool. It was a bit cold, but his boyfriend was by his side in a matter of seconds so he didn't get the occasion to complain, too busy trying not to make eye contact with his bare torso.

“Do you really have no idea how to swim ?”

“I’m not sure. I think I know how it works, I've seen you swim lots of times, I just never tried.”

“Show me, and we’ll go from there.”

Turns out Seongmin had absolutely no idea how to coordinate his movements to make himself move. That made Taeyoung laugh like a madman. It was pretty embarrassing.

“I don't want to swim anymore— “ he said, already starting to get out of the water.

Taeyoung grabbed him by the waist. “Nope, nope. Sorry, I'm not laughing anymore. Let’s try again, I'll hold your hands, flap your legs just like you were doing now.”

Seongmin would've argued if it weren't for the strong hands on his naked skin. He was just a boy, okay ?

With Taeyoung's help, he progressed quickly. He still couldn't actually swim, even after some time, but he knew how to vaguely move in the water and that was already a great advancement.

“One last half lap and we’ll have to go, it’s getting late.” Taeyoung announced and Seongmin wholeheartedly agreed. He was getting tired.

He ‘swam’ slowly to the middle of the pool, Taeyoung by his side and ready to grab him if anything happened. He was getting kinda good at moving a bit like a puppy in the water. This time, he didn't even need the support of the wall !

When he reached back to the shallow part, he threw himself on his boyfriend with a big smile. “I did it ! You saw it, I did it all by myself !”

“You did !” Taeyoung squished him back with as much energy. “So proud of you, I told you you could do it.”

Without thinking much about it, Seongmin put his hands on Taeyoung's shoulder and jumped, using the help of the water to get his legs around Taeyoung’s waist without too much trouble.

“Now I'm taller than you.”

Taeyoung's hands found their way on his butt, probably to support him. And maybe just to touch, if his coy smile said anything about it. “You sure are,” he admitted, looking up to meet Seongmin’s eyes.

Everything suddenly felt a bit warmer. Seongmin knew his cheeks had to be red. The look in Taeyoung's eyes made all the jellyfishes wake up (it was almost the perfect place to have them, since they were in water.)

Both dripping in water, hair pulled back not to stick to their foreheads. Seongmin slowly lowered himself enough for their nose to touch. Their lips met, tender at first, shy moves. Like it was the first time, exploring what was good and what wasn't. It tasted like pool water and chemicals. It tasted like love and sunsets.

It got faster, rougher. Taeyoung's hands moved to his exposed thighs, his naked waist and lower back.

Seongmin himself started to explore the body he’d mentally worshiped for years. The back of his neck, the muscles of his shoulders and biceps, his chest, back to his shoulders—

It was getting warm in there. Like, really warm. Too warm.

He was having such a good time, but he just remembered where they were and that kind of killed the mood. “Taeyoung, not here. It’s weird.”

That seemed to snap Taeyoung out of it too. “f*ck, you’re right. Wow, why did it have to start here. What the f*ck.”

Taeyoung looked a bit f*cked. Lips swollen, dilated pupils. Seongmin wondered if he mirrored his expression.

“Yeah. What the f*ck.” He agreed. “We should— maybe. Continue at home or something. I don't know.”

Taeyoung's eyes widened for a second, and in the blink of an eye they were out of the water. “Let’s go home.”

Seongmin would've laughed at his boyfriend’s excitement if he weren't in the exact same state. And it was embarrassing to be in a hurry to… continue making out, but he was a 21 year old boy who had been in love for around a full decade, so he didn't care.

🌤️

“f*cking hell, Taeyoung, are you a dog ? How do you even leave marks here !”

Waking up because of Taeyoung's annoying alarm was something. In the heat of events, Seongmin completely forgot Hyeongjun’s competition was in the morning and that they’ll have to wake up early to get there in time.

Everything had been fine for breakfast. Seongmin felt like he was on a cloud with Taeyoung, like all his love had been tripled overnight. He was feeling giddy and even giggled like a fool for the dumbest jokes ever.

Now, he was getting dressed up. Meaning he saw his own body. And wow, having faint teeth marks on his thighs and shoulders wasn't what he was expecting to notice.

Taeyoung looked at him with a co*cky smile. “I’m very happy with my art, thank you very much.”

“You’re absolutely insane.”

“I thought we already established that. And don't act like you’re a saint, you enjoyed it as much as me.”

“Shut uuuuuup!” Seongmin threw the first thing he had at hand — his jeans — on Taeyoung to get him to shut up. That was way too embarrassing to bear at eight in the morning.

“Wow, already getting your pants off again ? Didn't take you for that type of guy, Min.” Taeyoung had the audacity of wiggling his eyebrows.

“I f*cking hate you, go die in a ditch and don't ever talk to me again.”

Seongmin went to take back his pants, cheeks flushing red. Taeyoung stopped him in a fit of laughter, taking his wrists in hands to get them around his neck, gently forcing him into a hug. “Love you too, Min.” He punctuated his sentence with a kiss.

Seongmin decided that Taeyoung could maybe live another day.

⛅

They once again stole Theo’s car to get there. Him and Intak arrived just in time for Seongmin and Taeyoung to go, and that led to Seongmin learning that Intak was back home for good.

“So, I should book a train ticket right ?” He asked after a long silence in the car, the previous light mood completely forgotten.

“I mean, I'd be happy if you stayed, but… I need to go back to class and all. I’m sorry I didn't give you heads up, I just didn't really want to think about it.”

“No, don't be, I understand. I didn't want to think about it either. It’s just, I didn't expect it to be so soon. Time passed by really quickly.”

“Yeah, it did. We can arrange something soon, yeah ?”

Seongmin hummed. “Obviously. I’ll look into tickets once we’re back, let’s just— enjoy today.”

“Let’s do that. Did Ruby confirm if he’s coming or not ?”

“Yep. I think we'll see everyone today. Hyeongjun said he’ll probably ditch his team to eat together or something.”

Chatting about their friends lightened the mood. Seongmin even took the aux cord to put some music on, and the rest of the drive went smoothly.

⛅

Seeing the guys all together (Minus Hyeongjun, who only saw them for a few seconds to say hi before getting back with his team) was like Summer in February. They spent some time outside the building, catching up (and playing tag, because it was cold as hell) until they had to get inside. Hyeongjun actually got them good seats, not far from the stage.

Seongmin was squished between Taeyoung and Woobin. Meaning that even if he really loved his boyfriend, it’s against Woobin’s shoulder that he ended up resting his head, because he missed his honorary older brother. Taeyoung didn't complain, probably because he knew what Woobin meant for him, and also because he was himself busy annoying Serim.

Hyeongjun killed it on stage. His team was (from the least objective point of view) the best of the five here today, and Hyeongjun just stood up because he was good like that.

While the judges were discussing between them to do whatever dance judges do, Hyeongjun joined them. He was sweaty and his stage makeup was kind of ugly this close and without the spotlights on it, but Minhee still got up from his seat to give him a hug and tell him just how pretty he was on stage or something.

Ew, love. Seongmin turned to look at his own boyfriend, wondering if he could touch a disgustingly sweaty Taeyoung. The answer was maybe. Depends on how hot he looked.

“Mini, let me go, you’re strangling me.”

“I don't care.”

“Some of us are single, please stop PDA.” Woobin complained.

“Actually, you’re now the only one who’s single.” Wonjin argued. “Since our dear idiots finally got their sh*ts together.”

Woobin sighed. “I hate it here.”

They chatted until someone from Hyeongjun’s team — the infamous Cha Woongki — came to get him.

And wow, Seongmin didn't think he’d one day see someone be the exact same gay stereotype as him. It was a punch in the guts. Woongki tried to flirt with Serim, Jungmo, Woobin and Taeyoung. In the matter of minutes.

Seongmin found it funny until it came to his man. Seeing the doe eyes Woongki gave to Taeyoung made his blood boil.

“Woongki, please, you're embarrassing.” Hyeongjun pleaded.

“Why ? You never told me your friends were hot, you always said they're losers.”

“But I did tell you they’re all taken. Well, except Ruby but he’s not interested. Anyways, please, stop being a slu*t for five minutes.”

Woongki’s answer was to wrap himself around Taeyoung's arm. “What are you gonna do about it ?” And, well, Seongmin really loved Hyeongjun but he was not letting that pass, friend of a friend or not.

“Hey, get your dirty hands off my boyfriend. I don't care if you’re into home wrecking, but if you want to be a bitch then I can be one too.”

Woongki looked at him for a second, an eyebrow raised in challenge. Seongmin kind of wanted to punch him. But then he laughed, finally taking his hands back to himself. “Oooh, feisty one, I stan. Sorry honey, didn't mean to upset you. I don’t plan on stealing your boyfriend, don't worry, I was just playing. Jjun, we need you backstage, they’ll announce the winners soon.” And off he went.

Hyeongjun sighed, putting his head in hands. “Sorry for him. I promise he’s a cool guy, he’s just weird. He often tries to flirt with Minhee too, if that makes anything better. Anyways, I gotta go, I'll hit him for you, bye!”

Once Hyeongjun disappeared after Woongki, Seongmin decided that his own seat wasn't good enough. He pushed Taeyoung to sit back and got on his lap.

That made everyone laugh, obviously. Except Taeyoung, who just smiled like a fool and put his arms around him. “Thanks for fighting for me.”

“Shut up, you could have gotten him off yourself, asshole.”

“But you’re cute when you’re angry.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too.”

“Damn, they’re really gone gone. I didn't think I'd live to the day I'd see Seongmin down this bad.” Wonjin snickered.

Seongmin gave his best friend the middle finger. He didn't get off Taeyoung's lap.

⛅

Hyeongjun's team won. Obviously. Seongmin wasn't friends with losers. Minhee cheered louder than they ever heard him. He even got flowers out of who knows where, a small bouquet (“ I wanted to buy a bigger one but it’s expensive as f*ck. We’re literally sharing two pairs of shoes because we’re broke like that, so a five bucks one it is.”) of roses.

They went to a nearby restaurant to eat lunch, Hyeongjun seriously ending up ditching his team. They gave him his gifts (the plushies and Polaroid film) and that made him tear up like a little baby.

“Well, talking about Polaroids,” Hyeongjun sniffed, “We’ve got a thing for you. Mini, you got the box ?”

Minhee took off a box the size of a book from once again seemingly nowhere and pushed it towards Taeyoung.

“Since we’ve missed your birthday and your swim thingy, it’s for you.”

“And also to celebrate you and Seongmin finally getting together.” Allen added with a smile.

That made Seongmin curious. He had no idea they organized something.

“Hey, no, it’s your big day Jjunie.” Taeyoung tried to push away the box.

“Nu-uh, accept it or Serim will flick your forehead.”

Taeyoung grumbled but took the box back. Seongmin watched him carefully open it, and it was his turn to tear up when he saw what was in it.

“We all looked into the ones we had at home to find all the ones where you're together.”

The box was filled with Polaroids, starting from middle school. Taeyoung moved so Seongmin could see them better, carefully taking them out the box to look at them.

“Wow, guys…” Taeyoung started, looking completely stunned. Seongmin hated his boyfriend for not being a crybaby like him, who couldn't see anything anymore because of how wet his eyes felt.

“You should feel honoured,” Minhee continued, “Jjunie even moved his photo wall so he could give you his favorite ones.”

“Thank you so much. I can't believe so many pictures exist of us being this close.”

“Don't know why you’re surprised, you've been as bad as Minhee and Jjunie since day one. Except it took you way too long to become actual boyfriends.”

Even if it wasn't his gift, Seongmin gave a big hug to everyone when they parted ways, Jungmo and Serim included, even if they weren't here when these pics were taken. He was feeling way too emotional for a few pictures where all they did was being close or looking at each other funnily, but he so dearly missed the times where he just had to walk three neighborhoods to see the love of his life.

⛅

Back home, they went directly into Taeyoung's room because Intak and Theo were on the couch.

Seongmin wondered how he started calling this place home in so little time.

He sat at Taeyoung's desk, looking again at the Polaroids from the box. Nostalgia was hitting hard, especially after seeing everyone together again.

“Min. Do you prefer taking a train tomorrow or Monday morning ? It would be early but there’s one just in time so I could drive you there before going to school.”

“Monday.” He answered in a sigh.

“Okay. I’ll book it and send it to you.”

The atmosphere was gloomy, to say the least. Seongmin didn't want to leave.

Dinner was quiet and awkward. They went to sleep early, and Taeyoung's hold on him was even more tight than usual.

Maybe they shouldn't have made anything official. Seongmin knew he was too weak to leave and not crumble once back in his sh*tty city.

🌤️

They didn't get up until lunch, just basking into the other’s presence. Seongmin wished time could stop.

Intak ordered enough take out for them, probably sensing the depressed mood. That was kind of him.

And then, Seongmin had to pack his bag. Getting his toothbrush from where it had been beside Taeyoung’s, his make-up pouch from where he left it on the shelf behind the bathroom mirror, his drawing supplies from Taeyoung's desk, his clothes thrown a bit everywhere.

He was trying to fit everything back in his bag when Taeyoung came back to his room with a frown.

“What’s with the long face ?”

“Intak is gonna go live with Theo, he really liked it there. I’m happy for him but he tells me that while you’re packing to go back to your home kilometers away, I can't afford this place alone so I'll have to find a new roommate soon or move into a smaller apartment.”

It made Seongmin pause. He looked at his new sketchbook already half filled with the sketches of a story, at the laptop he didn't use for anything but playing. He thought back about his mom’s words, about how she said that he didn't have to go back to school if he didn't want to.

He thought back about the two weeks of paradise, living here with Taeyoung.

“What if I became your new roommate ?” He asked, his heart beating so loud in his chest.

Taeyoung looked at him funny. Was it hope in his eyes ? “But, school ? Your parents ?”

“I’m— I’m not going back to school anyways. I just thought, maybe, it would be fun to live together for real.”

Taeyoung didn't answer for a while. Seongmin was scared. What if Taeyoung didn't want to live together yet ? What if—

Arms around him. He was suddenly in the air. “f*ck yes ! Please, please, please come live here !”

This time Seongmin didn't ask to be put down, smiling from ear to ear. He did scream when Taeyoung threw him on the bed, and then threw himself right on him to attack his face with kisses.

This— This was home. Not a place but Taeyoung's arms.

⛅

They spent the night whispering about what they’ll do once they’d live together for real, too excited to fall asleep.

Meaning they almost didn't wake up in time. They had to rush the morning routine, giggling like idiots when they ran into each other getting ready.

The giddiness followed them to the train platform, where it all deflated at once.

Seongmin didn't want to scan his ticket or to get on the already waiting train. He refused to let go of Taeyoung's hand at the gate.

“Come on, Min.” Taeyoung nudged him.

He shook his head no. “I don't want to go.”

“I don't want you to go either. But we’ll see eachother soon, yeah ?”

He shook his head again, frowning. Yes, he was completely throwing a temper tantrum.

Taeyoung moved to get in front of him, using his free hand to get him to look up by pushing his chin. “Seongmin, I love you so much. We’re going to be together again in like, two months max, probably sooner. I’m probably going to cry like a baby to my friends. But you really need to go.”

“But I'm gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too. But we’ll call like we always do and all. And, here, look at our child.”

Taeyoung got Lotto out of his school bag, struggling a bit since he only had one hand. “You can press their belly when you miss me, remember ?”

That made Seongmin snort softly. “I forgot we gave them pronouns.”

“Yeah, we did that. You gotta take care of our non-binary stuffed axolotl child, okay ?”

Seongmin nodded. “I guess I don't have a choice.”

“Not really, no. You need to go back at least once to pack your things and say goodbye. We’ll organize your move soon and all. I already can't wait to see your face first thing in the morning.”

“Goodbye kiss ?” Seongmin felt weak. He wasn't really the type to be this outright affectionate, but today wasn't a good day.

Taeyoung gave him one peck, two pecks, three pecks. Seongmin hit him lightly in the stomach to get a real kiss.

The jellyfishes would never leave. This kiss tasted like hope and coffee.

“I love you. Now shoo, it’s gonna depart soon and you really need to be in it. I can't stand your face anymore.”

Seongmin laughed. “f*ck you, and give me my child. We’re leaving you for a rich man abroad.”

“Sure, I believe you. See you soon.”

They stayed hand in hand until they were too far to do so. The emotions inside Seongmin made his tummy hurt : excitement to get his things sorted out as quickly as possible, bittersweetness of leaving Taeyoung to do so. He already missed him. Love really made him dumb.

🌤️

Ten minutes into the train ride, Seongmin started to cry. He was embarrassed, because there was a mom and her teen son just in front of him, and he was crying into an axolotl dressed in overalls.

‘press their belly if you miss me’. That counted as missing him, right ?

Seongmin dried up his nose with his sleeve (ew, yes, but he didn't have any tissues at hand) and pressed the plushie's belly.

Taeyoung’s voices came out of it.

“Oooh you love me so bad, cringe.” It was co*cky.

Such a Taeyoung thing to do.

“Gosh, I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.”

Seongmin unlocked a new emotion : crying and laughing at the same time. f*ck, he loved Taeyoung so bad, this asshole.

He couldn't wait to see him again.

(The mom ended up offering him tissues and cookies, and then patted his back until he stopped sobbing. Her son looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here. Fair enough.)

🌧️🌦️🌥️🌤️🌈☀️